If you notice that a guy you're seeing is acting like he wants to be with you exclusively, but you later find out that he has a girlfriend waiting for him at home, it's likely that he's just using you for his own convenience. To avoid wasting your time on these kinds of people, look out for warning signs that they may be taken. Here are some potential red flags:
1. He's not a spontaneous person
It seems like you are noticing that this person is never available to meet up on Friday or Saturday, and you suspect that they might be trying to keep you from having full access to their life. You have a theory that they might be being dishonest by saying that they are not spontaneous, but you believe this to be untrue if they live close by. You feel that this behavior is suspicious and untrustworthy.
2. He's emotional about his breakup
It sounds like this person is still very emotional about their recent breakup, and they might be struggling to cope with it. You might sense that they are close to tears or in need of emotional support while they talk about it. They also seem to be talking a lot about their ex, which could indicate that the breakup is still very fresh and that they have not yet fully moved on.
3. You see the back of his phone
It seems like this person is very protective of their phone when they are with you. They always keep the screen facing down and out of view, which makes you wonder if they are trying to hide something. You might feel that this behavior is suspicious and that they are being overly secretive. It's normal to want privacy, but going to such lengths to keep you from seeing their phone could be seen as fishy.
4. He goes with the flow
It sounds like you have been dating this person for a while, but they have not had any conversations with you about the direction of the relationship. They have mentioned that they prefer to "feel things out" or "see what happens," which might be causing you to feel uncertain about where you stand with them. You are wondering if their reluctance to discuss the future of the relationship could be due to the fact that they are involved with someone else. It's worth considering that this might be a possibility, although it's also possible that they simply have a different approach to dating and are not ready to commit to anything more serious at this time.
5. He doesn't answer
If you're unable to reach him when you try to call and you're not sure why, it might be helpful to try to identify patterns when this occurs. For example, do you tend to have difficulty reaching him on weekends or at specific times of the day? It could be that these are times when he's busy with something else or, as you suggest, when he's with someone else. It might be worth considering whether there are specific times when you might be more likely to be able to reach him and try calling then instead.
6. He loves going out of town
He invites you to dinner, but it's always at a restaurant outside of town. It seems like he's always taking you away from your favorite hangout spots. What's the reason for this? It's possible that he's trying to take you to places where he won't run into his girlfriend or her friends.
7. He won't meet your bestie
It's been a few months since you started dating, and he still doesn't want to meet up with your best friend who's in town, or any of your other friends and family. If you ask to meet his friends and he resists, it could be a red flag. If he's not willing to introduce you to people outside of your relationship, it could be a sign that he's not being genuine or hiding something.
8. He doesn't have a relationship status on Facebook
You might check out his Facebook profile and feel relieved to see that he's not listed as "single," but if there's no relationship status listed at all after months of dating, that could be a cause for concern. He might claim that he doesn't like to share his relationship status on Facebook because he values privacy, but the real reason might be that he's in multiple relationships at the same time and doesn't want to draw attention to that. If he's trying to keep his relationship with you a secret, it could be a sign that he's not being genuine or honest.
9. The rest of his Facebook profile is private
If he added you as a friend on Facebook but certain parts of his profile are not visible to you, such as his friend list or sections of his timeline, that could be a cause for concern. It's possible that he's trying to hide something from you and is being secretive about certain aspects of his life. It's important to remember that trust is an important part of a healthy relationship, and if someone is not willing to be open and transparent, it could be a red flag.
10. He likes your place
He always wants to hang out at your place, especially after dates, instead of bringing you to his home. In fact, you've hardly seen much of his place at all. This could be because he's trying to avoid the possibility of his girlfriend showing up at his home unexpectedly. It's convenient for him to hang out at your place because it reduces the risk of any potential confrontations or awkward situations. If he's consistently avoiding bringing you to his home, it could be a sign that he's not being honest about his relationship status.
11. But he never stays the night
As much as he enjoys spending time and being intimate with you at your place, he never stays the night. He always has an excuse for why he can't stay, like having a busy day at work the next morning or not wanting to disturb you by getting up early. It's possible that the real reason he doesn't stay over is because he's worried about what his girlfriend will think if he doesn't come home. If he's consistently avoiding sleeping over, it could be a sign that he's not being honest about his relationship status.
12. He never uses his name
Have you ever noticed that gifts from him always come with a card that's signed with just his initial, rather than his full first name? This could be because he doesn't want to leave any evidence, no matter how small, that he's being unfaithful. If you had to show his girlfriend these gifts or cards, there wouldn't be any proof that he was the one who gave them to you. If he's going to great lengths to keep his actions a secret, it could be a sign that he's not being honest about his relationship status.
13. He never takes you to functions
It's concerning if he never takes you to meet his friends, but it's even more concerning if he goes to important events, like a work award ceremony or a fancy dinner, without bringing you as his date. This could be because he has a girlfriend who he brings to these types of events instead, and everyone at his workplace is aware of her. If he consistently leaves you out of important events, it could be a sign that he's not being honest about his relationship status.
14. He never uses titles
If you happen to run into someone he knows and he doesn't introduce you as his girlfriend, or doesn't introduce you at all, that could be a red flag. If you ask him about it later and he gives you a flimsy excuse, like not thinking about it or not being a fan of labels, it could be a sign that he's not being honest about his relationship status. It's important to have open and honest communication in a relationship, and if your partner is consistently avoiding introducing you to people or acknowledging your relationship, it could be a cause for concern.
15. He never hangs out
He makes regular plans to see you, but they're always structured and planned out, and he always seems eager to leave. Even when he's at your place, he doesn't seem interested in just relaxing and spending quality time with you. It's possible that he's feeling stressed out due to his infidelity, and that's why he's always in a rush. If he's not willing to just relax and be present with you, it could be a sign that he's not fully invested in the relationship.
