Relationships are fun and exciting, especially when they’re with someone we just met. New relationships are a kind of strange whirlwind: you realize you’re falling for someone you just met, and you fall even harder simply because you’ve acknowledged it. Nevertheless, a new relationship doesn’t mean you have to lose all your senses. You still need some of your wits around you. The beginning of a relationship is a time when you should watch out for some things that may look okay because you’re so in love but they’re actually serious red flags that should make you bail – fast!
1. Lying to you, and feeling like it’s no big deal.
If your partner has issues with lying, it’s not such a big deal as long as they’re working on it. But if they keep lying to you and expecting you to just deal with it, then that shows that they have no respect for you or the relationship.
2. They’re secretive about financial matters.
You don’t have to know every single detail about your partner’s finances – in fact, that can be a red flag itself. However, if your partner acts strange when it comes to money, you might need to watch closely. If, for instance, they earn more than you do but always need a loan, then they might be in serious debt or have a reckless spending habit. And that’s something you should know about.
3. Dismissing your feelings.
I had this boyfriend one time that always ignored me when I expressed how I felt. He had no idea what to do with my emotions. Needless to say, the relationship was a real bummer. If your partner doesn’t consider your feelings as important or know what to do with them, you probably shouldn’t be together.
4. You never have Date Nights, just “Netflix and Chill.”
You know how it is these days. Nobody actually goes on dates anymore. We just ‘hang’ or ‘chill’ and that’s it. But that’s strange because most times we don’t even know exactly what’s happening. Are we in a relationship or not? You don’t know because you never go on real dates.
5. Asking you to get intimate without protection.
Getting physical with your partner without protection should be something you do only if you’re comfortable with it. If he keeps pushing you to make a risky decision you don’t want to, then they aren’t being considerate of your feelings. Why would you want to put up with a selfish partner?
6. Saying you shouldn’t catch feelings.
We’ve all been here before – the almost-relationship. They tell you not to catch feelings. You’re fine with it. Everyone’s happy – until they catch feelings and gets pissed at you because you didn’t. That’s a huge red flag because they weren’t being truthful about their intentions. And that’s a sign they might not be truthful in other areas.
7. Wanting to be number one priority.
If your partner is always demanding you put them above your career, schooling, or your other ambitions, you need to address the elephant in the room. You don’t have to be made to make a choice between your partner and other things you want to do with your life. Healthy relationships have a balance in priorities.
8. They ask you not to make them a priority.
On the other hand, if your partner says they want to just do their thing and come to you when everything else is done, then that’s a red flag. It might be rarer than your partner wanting to be the most important thing in your life, but it happens. And it just shows that he doesn’t really see you as a partner.
9. They don’t let you spend time with others.
If your partner always wants you all to themselves, even when you guys are out in a group, then that’s a major problem. A healthy relationship can’t exist in a vacuum. You need to be your own person too – a person that doesn’t only exist within a relationship.
10. They refuse to define the relationship.
There’s a time when ambiguity is cool. It may even be needed sometimes, for the excitement. But if both of you have progressed well into relationship territory and they don’t want to define the relationship, then consider their refusal as an answer to your question.
11. They ask for your phone code like it’s a normal thing.
Here’s a hint: it’s not. If you want to give it up, that’s fine. But that should be your decision to make. Being forced or pressured into giving up your password to your phone or social media accounts is a major red flag. It just means they either don’t trust you, or they don’t respect your privacy.
12. They ask you to drastically change your appearance.
When we start dating someone, it’s because we’re physically attracted to them. That’s pretty basic. So if your partner tells you to totally change your appearance or dressing to suit them, you have a real problem on your hands. They should like you just the way you are, otherwise, you shouldn’t be together.
13. Wanting you to always look the same.
On the flip side, if your partner makes it a condition of your relationship that you have to maintain your current appearance forever, that’s also a bad thing. You should be the one deciding how you choose to look. If they can’t stand your hair in a new color, a tattoo, you losing or gaining weight, then that’s their problem. You should always be yourself in a relationship.
14. Your partner wants to do everything with you.
If you’re in a relationship where your partner wants to be with you all the time, that’s a red flag. You and your partner are two different people and you should both have time apart from each other.
15. Refusing to meet any of your loved ones.
It’s okay to be a little shy. But if your partner consciously avoids the people you love, then it may be a sign that they don’t plan on staying around for a long time.