In general, it's a good thing to ask each other questions as it indicates an interest in getting to know someone and shows that they are valued, even if it's just a facade. Nevertheless, there are certain questions that should be avoided, especially if you're not well acquainted with the person, as they can trigger negative emotions such as anger, discomfort, or upset. Asking these questions is impolite and the responses are not your concern.
1. "When are you going to get married?"
It's important to realize that not everyone wants to get married. Additionally, men who are perpetually single may also find this question uncomfortable. Even if you're asking a couple, it's not a wise idea as their reasons for not getting married may be personal and could lead to conflict.
2. "When are you having kids?"
Asking this question is almost always a bad idea. It's extremely invasive and can be emotionally devastating, especially if the person has experienced a recent miscarriage or has been struggling to conceive. The situation can quickly become awkward and insensitive, so it's best to avoid it altogether.
3. "Why did you drop out of college?" OR "Why didn't you go to college?"
College may not be a viable option for everyone, and sometimes it's simply not accessible. In today's society, college is often regarded as the only path to success, and questioning someone who has chosen not to pursue it can come across as condescending, impolite, and intrusive.
4. "Why are you single?"
This question is problematic since there's no way to respond without coming across as arrogant, insecure, or flawed. It's an unrealistic expectation to think someone would describe themselves negatively, and even if the question is intended as a compliment, it can be received as insulting.
5. "Why don't you like me?"
Asking this question is a sign of social ineptitude and can make the person feel uncomfortable. It may even be the reason why they don't like you. Putting someone on the spot in this way is unhelpful and can make them feel obligated to explain why they're not interested. They may not want to hurt your feelings, but they're not required to give you a reason. It's best to leave it alone.
6. "How many people have you slept with?"
It's best not to ask for someone's number if you have no intention of contacting them. Asking for their number is pointless and can make the person feel uncomfortable or objectified.
7. "Don't you feel embarrassed about (doing A nonconformist thing here)?"
It's surprising that you don't feel embarrassed about being rude. It's important to recognize that your behavior can have a negative impact on others and make them feel disrespected or hurt.
8. "Don't you know that's bad for you?" OR "You really shouldn't be drinking/eating/doing that, you know that, right?"
This question is usually aimed at pregnant women, smokers, or people who are overweight. Generally, what someone does to their body doesn't affect others. They likely already know the potential risks of their behavior, and your critical comments disguised as fake concern are not beneficial. They don't care and don't want to hear it. You're not saving anyone's life, and it's probable that you've engaged in similar behavior in the past.
9. "Why don't you live in a better area/house?"
It may be surprising, but I've heard this question multiple times from guests. They made me feel bad for not choosing a better neighborhood when I couldn't afford it at the time. As a result, I stopped talking to them and didn't invite them back. It's understandable to feel shocked by their behavior.
10. "Why can't you afford this?"
This can be very hurtful to individuals facing financial difficulties, and is not only impolite but can also lead to a loss of goodwill. As a result, the person you've asked may be hesitant to buy anything for you in the future.
11. "So, uh…what's that?" *points to scar or other body marker*
While some individuals may not mind, particularly if it's an interesting scar that makes them resemble a villain from the 1960s, many people who were born with differences or have suffered significant trauma will find it very embarrassing. Unless you plan to cover their therapy expenses, it's best to avoid the topic.
12. "Why can't you lose weight?"
"It's even better to sit on you with, my dear..."
13. "What's your least favorite thing about me?"
When you pose this question, it's usually for a valid reason. Perhaps you genuinely desire self-improvement, which is admirable. However, similar to the "Why don't you like me?" inquiry, it has a potential drawback. It puts others in the spotlight, and if you're unable to handle constructive feedback, it might strain your friendships.
14. "Why didn't you invite me?"
In general, it's best to avoid asking this question because, regardless of the response, it's unlikely to be well-received. Unless it's a truly peculiar circumstance, it's preferable not to inquire.
15. "So why don't you want to (insert status quo action here)?"
Individuals who lead an alternative lifestyle frequently exert a significant effort to achieve it. They frequently must explain their beliefs to many people who may abandon them as a result of their decisions. Walking the unconventional path is always difficult, and posing this question only adds to their burden. Don't be the person who ruins someone's happiness.
To determine which questions are inappropriate, consider how you would react if someone asked them of you. With a little reflection, the majority of the time, the answer will become apparent.