Are you familiar with the term "a two-week show"? It refers to a behavior where a man puts on a performance for approximately two weeks at the start of a relationship or non-relationship, with the aim of impressing you, but then loses interest once he feels he has won you over. What triggers this shift? Most likely, something you did or said turned him off, dampening his desire.
1. You Started Pursuing Him
If you initiate contact, start inviting him to events, and demonstrate excessive interest, he may stop pursuing you. After all, why should he continue his pursuit if he senses that you are now pursuing him? To succeed in this dynamic, you must allow him to come to you, rather than the other way around. This approach is straightforward.
2. You Agreed To A Night In Too Early
He once took you to trendy restaurants and bars, but now he's stopped planning such outings. What caused the change? Perhaps one Friday evening, he suggested a cozy night in with wine and Netflix, and you agreed. From that moment, the at-home date became a regular occurrence. Here's the thing: if a guy believes you're content with hanging out at his place, he may decide to forego taking you out entirely since inviting you over is easier for him. To prevent this, the golden rule is to avoid agreeing to go to his place for any reason too soon. Doing so could cause him to lose interest.
3. You Slept With Him Too Soon
I apologize, but it's a fact that men frequently view women differently when they engage in sexual activity too soon. They'd rather assign more significance to your affection, something that can only happen if they've worked for it. More often than not, their initial interest was driven by lust rather than love. "The initial excitement and energy that their partner brought no longer exists. It can be common for people to put their best foot forward upfront, only to fall back to their natural self as the relationship progresses," explains relationship coach and Maze of Love founder Chris Armstrong to Bustle.
4. You Nag Him All The Time
If you've begun acting like a mother or wife to a guy during the early stages of dating, you're likely to extinguish his interest rapidly. Men don't want to feel obligated to someone they've just met, nor do they want to be pressured to do things they're not inclined to do all the time. When you nag a man, it makes him feel suffocated and claustrophobic, and he's liable to withdraw before the relationship progresses any further.
5. You Showed All Your Cards
Try to maintain an enigmatic aura for as long as feasible. It's not always necessary for him to know your whereabouts, activities, or immediate emotions. Not yet, at least. If he perceives you as mysterious and desires to learn more about you and your interests, he'll be more motivated to connect with you on a more profound level. Mysterious women are extremely attractive, even if it's just a façade.
6. You're Overly Attentive To His Needs
Perhaps you're excessively available, too accommodating, or you structure your life around his timetable. Maybe you offer to meet him at the restaurant instead of requesting that he pick you up. Perhaps you even give him presents. All of these behaviors indicate that he doesn't have to make much of an effort. You've demonstrated that you're his and that you're not going anywhere. You're enabling him to be complacent and trying so hard that he doesn't have to put in any effort.
7. You Don't Have High Enough Standards
It's essential to set high standards for how you expect to be treated. For instance, if he cancels plans with you, you can't be excessively accommodating. If you're too lenient, he'll take advantage of you instead of attempting to improve himself for you. If he believes he can treat you poorly without consequences, he'll continue to test boundaries to see how far he can push them.
More Ways You're Killing His Interest
Here are other ways you might be ruining his interest in you.
1. You're Complacent
Instead of requesting what you deserve (such as a dinner out instead of takeout at home for a change), you settle for what's given to you. Whether it's due to fear of scaring him away or a desire to avoid being seen as high-maintenance, you've decided not to express your desires to your partner. If a man is genuinely interested in you, he won't perceive you as high-maintenance. Instead, he'll admire you for standing up for what you deserve, which demonstrates self-respect. If standing up for yourself frightens him away, then it's for the best! He's still a boy, not a man.
2. You Never Give Him A Time-out
If the guy you're dating is behaving immaturely instead of respectfully like a grown man, it's time for a time-out! Treat him like a child if he's acting like one. The most effective way to show him a lesson is to take a break from him for a few days, indicating that you're ready to leave. This will make it clear to him that he needs to improve his behavior or you're gone for good.
3. You Play Yourself Down
Acting unintelligent, clueless, or dependent is a misconception that some women believe will attract men. However, this couldn't be more wrong. In fact, portraying yourself as less intelligent can make a man feel like he needs to take care of you in the relationship, rather than having an equal partner. A quality man will want a confident, strong, and intelligent partner, so don't downplay your intelligence to try to impress him.
4. You're Way Too Arrogant
Having confidence is great, but it's important not to cross the line into arrogance. According to dating expert Matthew Hussey, constantly bragging about your achievements and how amazing your life is will quickly turn off a guy's interest. It's important to strike a balance between acknowledging your strengths and being humble. Constantly reminding others of your successes can make you come across as insecure or someone who is playing games to assert their superiority.
5. You're A Total Drama Queen
Acting like a high school mean girl with a bad attitude will only push guys away. Constantly gossiping, causing drama, and starting fights over small relationship issues is unattractive and exhausting. Being respectful, kind, and mature is much more attractive and will make guys want to be around you.
6. You Try To Make Him Jealous
If you want to show that you are desirable, deliberately making him jealous by flirting with other guys, bragging about how many other men are interested in you, and generally making him feel insecure about your relationship is not the way to go. Rather than motivating him to pursue you more, it's more likely to push him away.
7. You've Changed
If the person he was initially attracted to has significantly changed, it's understandable why he may have lost interest. While it's perfectly fine to grow and evolve, it's also not fair to expect him to be okay with every change that you make.
How To Get His Attention Back Once You've Lost It
If you're hoping to rekindle his interest, there's no surefire way to turn back time and make him want you again. However, there are a few things you can try to increase your chances.
1. Focus On Yourself For A While
According to dating expert Daniella Bloom's insight shared with INSIDER, attracting the right partner is all about emitting the same kind of energy you want to receive. Bloom explains that our partners tend to reflect how we feel about ourselves regularly, and by showing up differently for yourself, your partner will either take favorable notice or someone else who is far more compatible with you will come along. Therefore, focus on yourself rather than solely on your partner.
2. Remind Him Of What He Liked About You In The First Place
Initially, he was drawn to you for a reason, but he may have forgotten why. It's up to you to remind him. Relationship experts Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola recommend using "attractive actions" to rekindle things in their book How to Keep your Marriage from Sucking. "Create an opportunity to be alone together and reconnect by doing something you used to do when you were first dating, even if it's as simple as watching a movie, going to bed early, and getting some rest," they suggest.
3. Resist The Urge To Get Angry Or Accusatory
Instead of reacting with anger or drama when you feel like he's lost interest, try to maintain your kindness and consideration towards him. Neuropsychologist and life coach Sydney Ceruto, Ph.D., recommends expressing yourself with kindness and love in any interaction with your partner, whether it's personal or practical. Research shows that taking more loving actions can actually make you feel more in love, so continuing to be loving and generous towards him can keep the love alive and foster a deeper level of intimacy.
4. Have Some Fun Together
Relationships can become too serious and weighty when they are off track. This can contribute to the issue. To rekindle his interest in you and your relationship, relationship expert Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW, recommends doing something fun and exciting together to bring back the spark. Miller suggests that adrenaline increases attraction, so going to an amusement park, a haunted house, or anything that gets your blood pumping can have a positive effect.
5. Don't Have Sex For A While
It may seem like rekindling a guy's interest in you requires a sexual approach, but that's not necessarily true. True connection and intimacy are built on more than just sex. Dr. Juliana Morris, a therapist and sex expert, recommends that couples try removing the pressure of sex to rekindle romance and connection. She suggests focusing on other forms of intimacy, such as kissing, holding hands, and exploring each other in a non-sexual way. By creating a build-up of sexual tension, you may find that your connection becomes even stronger when you do decide to take things to the next level.
