It's common to form attachments with our romantic partners as we often spend a significant amount of time with them and share our best and worst selves with them, fostering a strong bond based on trust and love. Nevertheless, it's important to differentiate between genuine deep love and using your partner as a shield to avoid confronting your own shortcomings. Here are some indicators that suggest you might be using your man as a security blanket.
1. You dread going anywhere without him
While it's enjoyable to have your boyfriend accompany you while shopping and assist with pushing the cart and keeping track of your shopping list, relying on him to do so all the time could indicate a problem if you struggle to go anywhere without him.
2. You freak out when there's a lapse in contact
If you feel the need to stay in constant communication with your partner around the clock, partly to keep tabs on their whereabouts in case you need their help, and partly to alleviate feelings of loneliness, it could be a sign of an underlying issue.
3. You let him do all the talking
Although you're comfortable meeting new people, you prefer to have someone else around to manage the dreaded small talk.
4. You're not sure what you did with your time before you were together
While it's true that you must have had a life before getting together with your partner, you find it difficult to recall any specific details about that period of your life.
5. Sometimes you feel more like friends than anything else
You feel like you couldn't imagine your life without him, but if asked directly, you're not completely convinced that he's your soulmate or anything of that sort.
6. You're plagued by insecurity when he's not around
Even minor occurrences can trigger doubts when he's not around, and the only way to alleviate those feelings is to seek his validation.
7. You never make decisions on your own
You value his opinions and wish to avoid any preventable errors, even in trivial matters like selecting a restaurant.
8. When he disagrees with you, it's a big problem
It can be emotionally overwhelming at times, as you feel unsure about who else to rely on if he's not on your side.
9. You can't imagine having to live alone
Although you disliked living with roommates, the idea of living alone doesn't appeal to you either, so your boyfriend seems like the best available choice.
10. You hate when he's out with the guys
Rather than accepting that spending nights apart is a natural aspect of life, you feel deserted and abandoned each time it happens.
11. Your moods are dependent on his
If he's feeling gloomy or irritable, you tend to experience similar feelings alongside him.
12. You share all the same interests
It might be because you adapted your interests to align with his, enabling you to spend more time together. Additionally, your infatuation with him has left you unsure about your own preferences, leading to a lack of clarity about what truly appeals to you.
13. You're attached at the hip
Whenever you go out together, you tend to stick by his side and don't wander around or socialize with other people.
14. You've never really been single
Essentially, you move from one relationship to another without pausing to consider why you struggle to be independent.