Well, fine, that was a lie, but still. We're bringing in some case stories for you here. Remember those things from GCSE geography and biology that you had to collect data for or analyze to see trends and whatever other nonsense? Remember not knowing how to do any of that and frustrating your lab partner to no end? No? Just me? Whatever.
What we have done, however, is provide a portfolio from a series of guys off the street to provide a highly scientific study on the qualities that make women irresistible. Yes, it may sound old-fashioned, but also, I'm a shameless glutton for getting insights into the opposite sex. It's for research!
Anyhow, we got a selection of individuals identifying as male from various demographics (although they will remain nameless in case any readers fancy stalking them). I'll compile them below for your viewing pleasure!
Happy reading, and take them all with a pinch of salt...
Without further ado, here are the 14 most commonly occurring qualities in women that make men go wild!
1. A killer smile
Maybe with a cute dimple and a splash of lip gloss, someone used the word 'plump' and bless them, it made me cringe, so naturally, I had to include it. The aesthetic value of a great smile and its implication means you are fun-loving, open, and ready to have a good time out from the start. It's also an initial signal that one is available for a conversation, which is always great.
2. Heels + Legs = yes please (some maths for you there)
This response was compiled of men trying their best to respectfully suggest that heels do great things for women's legs. I mean, we knew that already (as we grimace and lose the feeling in our feet for our efforts every weekend). But it's great to know that these efforts are vaguely noted (if not, perhaps, worth it).
A bit of a kink for some, but the guys were at least varied in the accents that they suggested were attractive. We ranged from French to Irish to Italian, with one chap even saying Cockney, somewhat roguely. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
It seems that this divided the lads, too; some of those built like mountains seemed to find more 'delicate' shorter girls more attractive. While some shorter lads were also keen to imply that they prefer being the 'tall' one in the relationship. However, for the most part, the general census was that so long as the difference in height, either way, isn't prohibitive to logistics, then it's all chill. Have you tried kissing someone more than a foot shorter than you? It's not super fun for your neck.
Just like girls tend to appreciate a guy with a sense of humor, it turns out that we're not so different from the guys - they want the same thing. We all want to have fun. Go figure.
6. Common interest
I mean, I'm kind here to the guys that wanted a girl to watch them play football' or 'chat with about rugby' by categorizing it as common interests. But, in fairness, it is a common interest. If you happen to be compelled by a selection of athletic men kicking or throwing some ball between each other, go for it. They'll love you being one of the guys.
If you can whip out an interesting fact or keep them on their toes, guys are ready to learn new things about the world and you. This also ensures that the conversation flows and encourages you to laugh about the nonsense you come up with and establish fun in-jokes.
8. Foul mouthed
This one seemed to divide because the older demographics leaned against blasphemy or swearing in women. Perhaps to personal taste or ingrained patriarchal views that women should be seen and not heard. By contrast, the younger men seemed not only to not mind it, but many got off on that judging by the gratuitous tone in which they revealed the attraction of a Bad Girl. It seems like our pursuit of the Bad Guy wasn't so unreciprocated after all...
9. Eye contact
Intense, but very intimate and spine-tingling. Do it.
10. Physical contact
You put your hand on their thighs when you're out together in public and I promise he'll go crazy. It's something about the teasing and the anticipation of what you are offering to him. Coupled with the fact that he can't immediately do anything about it. Plus, it gives you a chance to stake your claim on him to all the others in the room.
This can be anything from the classic 'darling' or 'hun' to more rogue jokes and intimate memories. Either way, it displays affection publicly and in private and gives everyone a warm feeling in their bellies when someone cares so much about you that they have a nickname. Particularly if only they call you by that nickname. That just hits the spot.
The less glamorous one, but it rocked up in the guys' lists nonetheless. We're all humans. We all need to know we're on the same page as each other and that we are valued and needed. Make sure everyone in the relationship knows it and it can give your man some security.
13. Wearing their clothes
Call it a primitive, instinctual 'head of the house' caveman urge from centuries ago. But there is something undeniable about your best girl wearing your shirt to bed. To be perfectly honest, we love it too - it shows that we fit in with his world and are comfortable in his life. It's just science.
Ah, are we back in the 50s? Possibly, no matter how feminist or progressive you are, I feel like we all have our moments of wanting to know that we are desired. If he feels put out or threatened when you're chatting to a male co-worker or an old friend, and he sidles up to you to make sure you haven't forgotten him, it's a pretty satisfying feeling. Don't get me wrong. This must be done respectfully and should probably follow an open discussion about the relationship's parameters to settle any insecurities, but I'm with the guys here. A little jealousy never hurt anyone. Feel free to express your feelings if you feel insecure about him spending all that time with Pam from work. He'll probably love that.
And there we are! Absorb all this information and go forth and prosper my lovelies!
Quick reminder, however, to try to keep your heart in your line of sight though; your worth isn't defined by any man!