Accusing your partner of being the root of all problems in your relationship is simple, but it's possible that you're the toxic one. Are you wondering if you're the one causing trouble? Here are 13 indications to look out for.
1. You Have Low Self-esteem
Merely having low self-esteem doesn't automatically make you a toxic person; it depends on how you handle it. If you anticipate your partner to cause you harm or turn you down, it may lead you to be distrustful of them, and you may find yourself arguing over issues that they're not responsible for. This is unjustifiable. Moreover, having low self-esteem can make you refrain from informing your partner when you're feeling down, wounded, or ridiculed. Consequently, you're either dishonest or holding back, and the aftermath can be explosive.
2. You Regularly Make Threats
In times of intense arguments with your partner, you resort to either issuing ultimatums or threatening to leave them. Although you may believe that this gives you a sense of authority, in reality, it makes you manipulative and unjust. By using their emotions against them, you become controlling. Phrases like "If you don't do this" or "If you loved me, you'd do this" are instances of manipulative threats that you may employ.
3. You Leave The Room During An Argument
You tend to abruptly exit the room when things get intense during a disagreement, usually after you've expressed your opinions. Why is this problematic? It results in leaving relationship problems unaddressed and unsettled.
4. You Allow People To Interfere In Your Relationship
You divulge details about your relationship to your friends and family, which is unsuitable. Alternatively, you involve your loved ones in your relationship, which can be highly detrimental. This may result in your loved ones siding against your partner or further complicating matters. It's your responsibility to establish boundaries between your relationship and your loved ones, and failure to do so can cause your relationship to become toxic.
5. You Can't Handle Criticism
We're not referring to cruel criticism, which is intolerable, but constructive feedback from your partner. This feedback may be due to their concern or care for you, or it may simply be the truth about how your behavior affects them. However, when confronted with criticism, you tend to either become angry or attempt to shift the blame onto your partner.
6. You Feel He's Not Good Enough
Despite being unable to handle criticism (and your boyfriend isn't the only one to notice this), you have a habit of constantly seeking flaws in your partner and attempting to alter them. This is unacceptable behavior.
7. You Always Play The Victim
You constantly feel like you're being treated unfairly in your relationship, and you may also be the type of person who strives to please others, refrains from voicing their thoughts to avoid conflict, and avoids causing any disruption. However, you're not a martyr; rather, you're being manipulative. If you perceive yourself as the victim all the time, you convince yourself that you cannot be in the wrong, but this isn't necessarily the case.
8. Your Life Is Full Of Drama
Before your boyfriend entered your life, your existence was a dramatic solo act. You may believe that it's not your responsibility, but in reality, you either permit drama to thrive in your life or create it yourself. Now, you're involving your partner in it, forcing them to cope with all of your problems.
9. You Love To Gossip
You overshare with your partner about your friends, enemies, and rivals, and since your relationships are filled with drama, there is always an abundance of gossip to discuss. This causes your partner to become concerned that you're talking about them behind their back, which is likely the case.
10. You're Brutally Honest
You prefer not to mince words and avoid sugarcoating the truth. You take pride in being "straightforward" and "brutally honest." However, is this truly a positive attribute, or are you simply being cruel? If you're prone to insulting your partner and causing them emotional distress, then it's the latter.
11. You Don't See Outside Of Your Perspective
You staunchly cling to your beliefs and refuse to consider the worth of your partner's thoughts or emotions. It's solely about your perspective. You constantly assert your correctness and refuse to accept responsibility for any mistakes. It's got to be challenging to engage in a conversation with you at times.
12. You Hold Grudges
You maintain a mental inventory of all the negative actions your partner has committed, which you constantly update. You harbor these resentments until the ideal opportunity presents itself to lash out at him, typically during a dispute when you want to triumph or inflict pain.
13. You Snoop Through His Things
You enjoy exerting authority over your partner, and one of your tactics involves periodically snooping around, whether it be through his emails or texts. You don't experience remorse for this behavior, as you believe it's necessary to defend yourself. However, this practice is unjust to your partner and violates his privacy.