Let’s talk about flirting and jokes. Or flirty jokes, if you please.
There are millions and zillions of flirty lines in this meager world. And the chances that you haven’t heard one flirty pick-up line by now are low. Or may I say – impossible?
Those one-liners seem funny, and that’s their purpose in general. To provoke a smile or laugh on your face, to cheer you up, and to prepare you for a flirting session in a bar (whoa, we miss those pre-covid parties a lot, right?). Or practically anywhere – on a train, a bus stop, while you’re shopping…
Put your idea on the list, and let’s start counting them.
But are these flirty puns always funny?
Yes, and no. To be honest, my flirty joke-o-meter points at NO.
A strong, big, bold, NO.
But this is not the case with all people in this world. All of us are different. And this surely means that we all have many contrasting ideas on how a flirty joke should sound.
Some people like the good old flirty jokes that include a phone number, and others like something more on the nerdier side.
All of this is good to go. As long as you’re having a good time and not rolling your eyes – we’re good, really!
Let the one-line jokes begin, and may the flirty Gods be ever in your favor!
Our Sense Of Humour Says A Lot
Remember Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother?
Well, this guy was a master of one thing – depicting how not to flirt with girls.
Everything we do says a lot about ourselves in general.
The way we move our bodies, the way we laugh, the whole body language we show to the world around us speak louder than the words we say out loud.
Moreover, the same goes for our sense of humor. It says more for a person than one could imagine. And, of course, this is what makes it so spicy and special.
Finding The Right Words Is Key
The hardest thing to do is always the right one that will lead you straight to your goal.
Finding the right words is hard, even if you’re good with words.
On the other side, first impressions do matter, and often, there are no opportunities for second chances. So, this means that you have to be fast, brainy, and tactical.
There are many different types of humor too. And regarding this, one thing should be on your mind frequently: thinking fast doesn’t mean being pushy or acting too quick.
Give it some time. And let the thought rest in your head. Explore your crush, and guess what would sound appealing in their head.
Since we still can’t read minds (such a shame), trust your gut and go with the flow.
Oh, and yes! Always have a backup line in case they don’t look amused by your first flirty joke.
After all, you can always be honest and say that this is not usually your thing, but you were eager to try it to see if it worked exactly as they show us in movies and TV shows.
At least you’ll have a reason to laugh together.
Flirty Lines To Impress A Girl
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours Instead?
Dear, your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you, please?
I’m not usually religious. But when I saw you, I knew you were the answer to my prayers.
Do you have a name, or should I just call you Mine?
Hello, I’m the Kiss Thief. And I’m here to steal a kiss from you!
Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.
Girl, are you a camera? Because I look at you and smile instantly!
If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.
Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?
Are you an electrician? Because you’re definitely lighting up my night.
Best Nerdy Jokes
11. Hey, my name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
12. I hope that our love will be like the number Pi: irrational and endless!
13. Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you!
14. Baby, if you were words on a page, believe me, you’d be a fine print.
15. You make my dopamine levels go all silly!
16. It’s a good thing I have my library card because I’m totally checking you out!
17. You must be made of Copper and Tellurium because you are CuTe!
18. I’m studying to become a historian. I’m especially interested in finding a date.
19. Come with me; let’s convert our potential energy into kinetic energy.
20. Are you the square root of -1? Because you can’t be real!
21. Baby, you’re so cute you made my page 404.
22. How about you and I form a binary system?
23. Forget hydrogen – you’re my number one element.
Subtle Flirty Jokes For Your Pleasure Only
24. I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together. Now, what’s on the menu? Me-n-u
25. You’re so pretty that last night you made me forget my pickup line.
26. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I pass by you again?
27. Don’t stop! I don’t usually get to see beauty in motion.
28. You are my methods. I am nothing without you.
29. Are you a cat? Because you’re purrrrrrfect.
30. I’ll be Burger King, and you’ll be McDonald’s. I’ll have it my way, and you’ll be lovin’ it!
31. Wanna dance? I could put your inertia in motion.
32. I don’t want your candy. What I need is your number.
Smooth Pick-Up Lines To Use The Next Time You Flirt With Someone
33. Falling for you would be a very short trip. Four plus four equals eight, but you plus I equals fate.
34. If I bite my lip, will you kiss it better?
35. I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [-No.] Well, then please do start.
36. Could you please step out of the bar? You’re melting all the ice!
37. So, there you are! You know, I’ve been looking all around, the woman of my dreams!
38. We’ve already said ‘Hi,’ right?
39. Anyone can sit there and buy you drinks. I want to buy you dinner!
40. I’m not a hoarder, but hear me out: I would love to keep you forever.
41. I can read your palm. Your heart line says that you will call me soon.
42. I advise you to surrender immediately, or I’ll have to use the worst pick-up line that exists!
Funny Flirty Jokes For Him Or Her
43. The doctors found a disease in my blood type: U.That’s not a candy cane in my pocket. I’m just glad to see you!
44. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
45. Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten, I see.
46. My next drink is on you. Because I saw you and dropped mine!
47. They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
48. Are you sure you’re not tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day.
49. Have you ever been to another planet? [-No.] Wow, girl, we have so much in common, I knew it!
Playful, Flirty Pick-Up Lines For Texting
50. I need more than 140 characters to tell you how beautiful you are. My idea of flirting is giving a girl 1 of my 10 tacos.
51. My phone is in my hands, but I would rather be holding you.
52. You’re always in my 3 A.M. thoughts.
53. We don’t really have anything to talk about, but I still want to talk to you. So…Hi!
54. I like jokes, but I like hu mor.
55. My dog wants you to know that it misses you. Come over.
56. I just saw your new profile picture. You’re looking hotter than ever.
57. You already know how much I really like you. So, what are you going to do about it?
58. I have a big problem. I can’t stop thinking about you.
59. I have Netflix and no one to snuggle with. Do you think you can help me out?
60. I wanted to ask you out, but I figured that I’d start by sending you a text message.
Sarcastic One-Liners That Might Work
61. I broke my finger yesterday. On the other hand, I’m super fine! Do you know why seagulls fly over the sea? Well, they can’t fly over the bay! Then they would be bagels.
62. Hi. Do you like Star Wars by any chance? Because Yoda is the only one for me!
63. You know what? Your lips should meet for a, you know, informal, business casual type meeting.
64. Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Oh wait, that’s right, enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m [your name].
65. How would you reply if I said: “you deserve better”? I don’t know about you, but I would say: “you read my mind”!
66. What do runners eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!
67. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
68. I am probably single because I didn’t forward those chain messages in 2008. Darn you, karma!
69. I love the F5 key. It’s just so refreshing.
70. Am I the only one wet in this room? Nice package. Let me unwrap that for you.
71. Whoever came up with the word ‘edible’ had you in mind.
72. What kind of Uber are you – long or short rides?
73. How can a guy be so hot and manage to survive being arrested?
74. Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?
75. Don’t forget my name because you’ll be screaming it tonight.
76. Would you mind a happy death? Because people say sex is a killer.
77. How much of me can you handle?
78. If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
79. Your face would look much better with my legs around it.
80. I’ve been a bad girl, so spank me!
81. My place or your place?
82. Don’t stick out your tongue unless you intend to use it.
83. I don’t know what you think of me, but I hope it’s X-rated.
Romantic Pick-Up Lines For Texting Your Crush
84. Hi, I’m writing a book on the finer things of life, and I was wondering if I could interview you? There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how gorgeous you look.
85. You are the reason that men fall in love.
86. If you were a teardrop, I would never cry for fear of losing you.
87. Your eyes are like the sunset. Beautiful, inspiring, and hard to turn away from.
88. Excuse me, I seem to have lost my heart. I think you must have it.
89. My heart forgets to beat the moment I see you.
90. If a star fell for every time I thought of you, the sky would be empty.
91. Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
92. You’re like the morning sun after a long night of darkness.
Witty One-Liners For Tinder
93. I woke up thinking today was just another boring Monday, and then I saw your photo on my app. On a lazy Sunday: Netflix all day, getting lost in a museum, or cuddling with me?
94. Damn, you have a dog! Does that mean I’ll never win the “best ever cuddler” title?
95. Two truths and a lie! Go!
96. I’d tell you you’re cute, but someone else probably did that already, so you describe yourself in three emojis instead!
97. Titanic. That’s my icebreaker. What’s up?
98. We matched! Does that mean you’re coming over to my place tonight, or should we meet and establish we aren’t serial killers or living with our parents first?
99. Truth or dare?
100. Not much of a bio, you mind if I am lightening round you a couple of questions?
101. Drinks or coffee this week?
102. You’re sweeter than 3.14. Tell me I just won the cheesy pickup line competition?
103. If you could have any famous artist (dead or alive) paint your portrait, who would it be?
Cringy Jokes That You Should Laugh At
104. My name is John, but you can call me tonight. Since there is only one of me, does that make me a limited edition?
105. It’s girls like you that cause global warming!
106. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.
107. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with “Guess” on it …so I said, “Implants?”
108. You smell like trash… Can I take you out?
109. Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!
110. I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.
111. You must be from Pearl Harbor. Because, baby – you’re the bomb.
112. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
More Bad Jokes That Will Make You Smile
113. Are you a wi-fi? Because I am totally feeling the connection. I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
114. Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koalafications.
115. If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I’d give you a 9 because I’m the 1 you’re missing.
116. Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me!
117. If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be the McGorgeous.
118. Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future!
119. Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem just Wright for me!
120. You must be a campfire. Because you’re super hot, and I want s’more.
121. Your eyes are like IKEA. I’m totally lost in them.
Tips On What To Avoid When Flirting With Someone
When it comes to flirting, one could easily get carried away. And most of the time, you won’t be aware of it until sudden ghosting, or God forbid, a block comes along the way from the opposite side.
To avoid crossing the line, always be aware of what you are writing or saying to your flirting buddy.
Here’s some basic advice that you should keep in mind:
Always read between the lines. Whether the flirting happens face to face or via social media, always read the signs the other side sends to you. Your intuition never lies, so if you feel like you’re getting too close to the red line, back off and change the subject. Or try a different approach. It will work for sure.
Body language says a lot. Our facial expressions speak louder than words. So, if your guy or girl seems shy or uncomfortable – don’t be pushy with your catchy jokes. Stop for a moment, or leave everything aside and try starting a regular conversation. Always remember to read the signs, and you’ll never be wrong.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. We’re all different, and this also means that we have various ideas about what is funny and what sounds tragic. Yes, your jokes could sound awful to some people, and you should always tone them a bit. Don’t use the same old tricks on everyone. Not all people are molded from the same type of clay, and this says a lot.
Of course, the most cliche advice would always be to be yourself no matter what. But we’ll say it like this: don’t be afraid of showing your true colors while flirting, but be smart. Adapt your jokes and keep your humor humble.