Being in a committed relationship always terrified me because I considered myself a highly independent woman. I believed that one had to choose between being independent or being in a relationship. However, I have since discovered that it's possible to be a great girlfriend and a badass independent woman simultaneously. One need not sacrifice one for the other; all you need is to find a balance.
1. Have Your Own Interests
Having your hobbies and interests is crucial in any relationship. It's okay to have shared interests or try out new things, but it's important to maintain your passions and not sacrifice them for the relationship's sake. Remember to nurture your personal interests even when in a relationship.
2. Make Some You Time
Even when in a relationship, taking time to be alone is still necessary. Personally, I cherish my alone time, and I've realized that I don't have to be around my partner all the time. In fact, it has strengthened our relationship by allowing us both to have some much-needed alone time.
3. Stay Yourself, No Matter What
I've been in a situation where I got too involved in a relationship and started to lose myself. To avoid this, take some time to step back and assess the situation. Spend time on your hobbies or with friends to make sure you're still happy with who you are. It's important to be able to recognize yourself even if the relationship ends.
4. Don't Push Your Friends Away
Your friends have been with you before your partner, so it's essential not to push them away. They love you for who you are, and they'll remind you not to lose yourself in the relationship. While some friends may not approve of your partner, it's crucial to stay true to your closest friends, and they'll help keep you grounded.
5. Have A Space That's All Yours
When you live with your partner, having some alone time can be challenging. However, it's crucial to have a space that's solely yours, whether it's a room or a corner of a room filled with your belongings. Let your partner know that you don't want to be disturbed when you're in your space, except for emergencies. Having your space will help you maintain your individuality in the relationship.
6. Don't Compromise On What's Most Important To You
Your identity is shaped by your values, morals, goals, and loved ones. It is crucial not to compromise these things. While relationships require some level of compromise, there are certain things that cannot be negotiated. Remember, maintaining your independence is one of them.
7. Speak Up When You're Pissed
Don't suppress your emotions. If you feel angry, speak up. However, ensure that you argue in a fair manner. Your partner won't fully comprehend your independence if you remain silent. Inform him of your sentiments and that you have your own viewpoints.
8. Believe In Yourself, Even If He Doubts You
Although you may wish for your partner to believe in you, there may be times when he doubts you. As an independent woman, you must have faith in yourself and pursue what you desire regardless. When I first started writing, my boyfriend didn't support me, but I pursued it anyway. Now, he couldn't be more proud.
9. Talk Often
Independent women are not accustomed to having to incorporate someone new into their lives. While we have friends and family, they are already part of our lives. Including a boyfriend requires integrating someone new. If you don't communicate and make an effort to include him, he may feel excluded. Remember that you can still maintain your independence while also allowing your partner to be a part of your life.
10. He's Your Partner, Not Your Owner
In certain relationships, some men may wrongly assume ownership. To maintain your independence in a relationship, it's essential to establish that both of you are equal partners. It's best to divide responsibilities equally between both of you so that neither of you has complete authority.
11. Schedule Time Apart Regularly
Although I adore my partner, spending all my time with him isn't ideal. I think about him even when he's not around, but I also require personal time. Consider scheduling some time apart on a regular basis, such as one day each week or a few evenings. Choose whatever arrangement works best for your relationship.
12. Let Your Partner Know What's Important To You
At times, your actions may not be fully comprehended by your partner. For instance, if your partner has only dated women who were not independent, they may feel uneasy when you request time for yourself. Communicate with them, explaining why independence is necessary and which activities make you feel independent. Being honest will assist them in understanding and accepting you.