12 Ways I Found Myself When I Lost Him

Experiencing a breakup can be the catalyst for positive change in one's life - this has certainly been the case for me. While I have gone through several breakups, once the initial feelings of sadness have passed, I have consistently found myself growing and developing into a stronger and wiser person. Losing a romantic connection has actually resulted in personal growth and positive changes in my life. Here are some of the ways in which this has happened:

1. I regained my independence

I acknowledge that I tend to struggle with codependency in my significant relationships, losing sight of my own identity and independence. However, when I experienced the end of my last relationship, I was forced to rely solely on myself once again. This experience served as a powerful reminder of who I am and what I aspire to be as an individual.

2. I established my sense of self

During my time with my ex-partner, my perspective was heavily influenced by our relationship. Regrettably, I sacrificed my individuality and sense of self in the process, but it wasn't necessarily his fault. However, once we parted ways, I was required to turn my attention inward and prioritize my own needs. This shift in focus allowed me to cultivate a greater sense of strength, stability, and self-assurance.

3. I started taking care of my needs first

Following my breakup, I came to the realization that I cannot be a positive force in others' lives unless I am content and fulfilled on my own. I had invested so much of myself into my ex that I neglected my own well-being, which ultimately led to unhappiness. I now recognize that prioritizing self-care is not a selfish act but an essential one. By taking care of myself, I have become more capable of giving to others.

4. I began exploring new hobbies and interests

My relationship had become stagnant, and we settled into a predictable routine that suited us. However, after our breakup, I was thrust into uncharted territory and felt overwhelmed. Despite the fear, I pushed myself to try new things that I never would have considered before. While some endeavors were more successful than others, the crucial point was that I was actively exploring new interests.

5. I started working on my inner peace

I had avoided practicing meditation and viewed yoga solely as a form of physical exercise. My fear of confronting my inner self kept me from doing any meaningful introspection, and my relationship became a convenient distraction. However, the aftermath of our breakup plunged me into a depressive state, forcing me to face my issues head-on. Although I lost my partner, I discovered something even more valuable: a newfound love for myself.

6. I figured out who I really am

It was an agonizing experience, but a necessary one. Losing my love was the impetus I needed to undertake the arduous task of self-healing. Prior to that, I had a superficial understanding of my identity without a solid foundation. The opinions of others heavily influenced my self-perception. Today, I am proud of my journey and firmly rooted in my self-love.

7. I reconnected with family and friends

While in my previous relationship, I prioritized my romantic life over my essential personal relationships, leaving little time for anything else. Despite my best efforts, I always felt overwhelmed and exhausted. Fortunately, when I found myself alone again, my family and friends were still there for me. Nowadays, I make a conscious effort to connect with them regularly and demonstrate how much they mean to me.

8. I took time for myself and stopped focusing on men

In my youth, I was consumed with an obsession for boys, leaving little room for comfort in my own company. However, as I've matured, I've taken the time and effort to cultivate a loving relationship with myself, and now relish being alone. While I may desire a partner, I no longer require one, and it feels empowering to know that I am independent and self-sufficient. I have worked hard to become the strong, capable individual that I am today.

9. I eliminated stress from my life

It may sound bizarre, but I truly did change my entire perspective on life. I eliminated anything that no longer served my personal growth and well-being. During my previous relationship, I was perpetually stressed and unhappy, both in the relationship and in other aspects of my life. Recognizing that life is too short to live in constant negativity, I took conscious steps to rectify the situation.

10. I changed my entire perspective on life

Even during my previous relationship, I harbored a bitter and negative outlook. I relied solely on my partner to provide me with happiness, which was not sustainable since my positivity lacked a strong foundation. Following the end of my relationship, I found myself in a deep state of depression, and was forced to choose between continuing to live a life that did not serve me, or undergoing a transformation. My newfound perspective is by far my greatest accomplishment.

11. I stopped caring what people think of me

I used to be overly concerned about how others perceived me, especially my romantic partners. It prevented me from being my authentic self. Despite my deep love for my ex, our relationship didn't align with my true self. I now recognize this and am committed to never compromising who I am in a relationship again. I feel liberated and full of vitality without the burden of constantly seeking approval.

12. I figured out what I really want from life

In my past, I didn't know what I wanted and avoided dealing with it, whether in a relationship or single. I prioritized my ex's needs and our partnership over my own. But after the breakup, I faced the need to figure out how I had changed as a person and why my lifestyle wasn't working for me. Now, I'm on the right path and looking forward to my future.