It can be difficult to find a great guy in 2022, but it's not impossible. It just requires using good judgment. To help you save time and avoid frustration, here are some types of loser men to watch out for and how to identify them before getting involved. Please keep in mind that all men may exhibit some of these traits, but what makes a man truly terrible is if these behaviors become a persistent problem in the relationship.
1. The offender: The guy who ignores your texts and calls - What to watch for: His communication habits
It is reasonable to expect a guy to respond to your texts or calls in a timely manner. If he is taking a long time to get back to you or ignoring some of your attempts to reach out, it is best to move on. A man who cannot even be bothered to respond to you via phone is not worth your time. You should be with someone who is actively trying to communicate with you. There are men out there who do initiate communication and it is best to pursue a relationship with one of them.
2. The offender: The guy who cheats - What to watch for: His ethical vibe and his selfishness level
Cheating is one of the most reprehensible behaviors a man can engage in. Men who cheat are lacking in moral strength and are driven by their own selfish desires, rather than by principles. It is important to be with a man who has discipline and integrity, someone who will do the right thing even if it means sacrificing something for it. If the man you are with is selfish or lacks character, it is best to move on. Cheaters are not trustworthy and should not be tolerated.
3. The offender: The guy with terrible conflict management skills - What to watch for: His temperament
It is important to be cautious if the man you are with has a short temper or becomes defensive when you try to address problems in the relationship. A good man will listen to your needs, pay attention to what you have to say, and communicate effectively with you, even if he doesn't agree with you. A man who becomes angry, shouts, or throws things is not desirable. You want a man who is able to handle conflicts in a healthy way.
4. The offender: The guy with no manners or sense of romance - What to watch for: Whether he cares about the little things
Small gestures can make a big difference in a relationship. It is nice when a man opens doors for you, plans romantic dates, or sends you a text just to let you know he is thinking of you. While some women may need or expect more of this type of attention than others, all women appreciate a little bit of romance and chivalry. Unfortunately, this is a common trait among men who are not good relationship material.
5. The offender: The guy who's hot and cold - What to watch for: Consistency
Men who are inconsistent and unreliable can be frustrating and are often self-centered and manipulative. They may act interested in you when they are feeling bored, lonely, or sexually aroused, but disappear when they no longer need anything from you. It is important to remember that any man who is not consistently making you a priority is not worth your time, no matter how attractive or charming he may be.
6. The offender: The lazy guy - What to watch for: How quickly he stops trying
It is normal for people to become a little lazy in relationships at times. However, it is a red flag if this laziness sets in quickly and is accompanied by a significant decrease in effort. If the man you are with stops doing the basic things he did to woo you as soon as he has your commitment, it may be necessary to distance yourself until he gets his act together and realizes that you have standards. If he does not make an effort to improve, he is not worth your time and there are plenty of other men who will be more deserving of your attention.
More Types Of Loser Guys To Watch Out For/Avoid Like The Plague
1. The offender: The guy whose life is just a mess - What to watch for: How he handles his career
Many men place a high priority on their careers. If a man's career is not stable, it may be a sign that other areas of his life are also disorganized. It is important for a man to have a job that enables him to support himself financially. If he does not have a steady source of income, it is unlikely that the relationship will be successful. It is best to move on rather than waste time trying to make it work.
2. The offender: The guy who cares more about his job than you - What to watch for: His interest in balance
While it is important for a man to have a job that provides income and helps him feel good about himself, it is not healthy for him to be a workaholic and always prioritize work over his relationship. There are certain exceptions to this, such as individuals in high-stress careers like brain surgeons or astronauts, but in general, a man who is in a relationship should make time for his partner. If he is not willing or able to do this, he may need to be alone until he is able to give the relationship the attention it deserves. You deserve to be with someone who is able to give you the time and attention you deserve.
3. The offender: The guy who drinks way too much - What to watch for: Restraint
A man who sees getting drunk with his friends as the best way to spend a night is not worth your time. While it is okay to enjoy drinking, it is important to have self-control and know when to stop before it becomes a problem. If the man you are with gets drunk rather than just tipsy when you are together, shows an excessive interest in activities involving alcohol, cannot leave a bar before closing time, or has an unhealthy obsession with alcohol, it is best to end the relationship. This situation is likely to become destructive and may never improve.
4. The offender: The guy who's not ready to commit (AKA the guy who just wants to hang out) - What to watch for: Momentum
In a healthy relationship, both partners are moving forward and working towards building a fulfilling life together, whether that involves commitment, engagement, marriage, or just deepening the connection between them. As you get to know a man, pay attention to whether he is moving towards a deeper commitment or if he is content to just casually "hang out." If you do not feel a sense of momentum in the relationship, it may be necessary to distance yourself. This will give him the opportunity to show that he is willing to make an effort to treat you well. If he does not make an effort, it is important to find someone who will.
5. The offender: The guy who's insecure - What to watch for: His need for attention/validation
Egotistical men can be a major problem in relationships. Some men may feel threatened by their partner's success and try to compete with them or belittle their accomplishments. Others may feel the need to constantly show off and brag about their attractiveness to the opposite sex or the attractiveness of their exes. These men are not mature and it is best to avoid them. You deserve to be with a man, not a boy.
6. The guy who's cheap - What to watch for: His generosity level
A man who refuses to pay for the first few dates, even if he is not rich, is not worth your time. While it is not necessary for a man to pay for everything all the time, it is expected that he will pay for the first date and ideally the first few dates. Women often spend more money getting ready for a date, such as getting their hair and nails done and buying a new outfit, than the cost of the actual date. Good men understand this and are willing to cover the expenses. In addition, a man who is interested in a woman will want to pay for her as a way of showing that he is able to provide for her. If the man you are with is not willing to pay for dates, it is a sign that he is not interested in you and it is best to move on and find someone who is.
Things To Keep In Mind When It Comes To Loser Guys
It can be difficult to end a relationship with someone you care about, but it is important to protect yourself from toxic situations. Here are some things to consider when trying to decide if it is time to move on.
1. Ignoring red flags is a big mistake
If a man seems perfect at first but later reveals himself to be a disappointment, do not dismiss this behavior. It is important to pay attention to red flags and not ignore potential problems in a relationship. "People can be emotionally charged and ignore the red flags in the beginning, or find a way to deceive themselves to lessen the impact because sometimes they just don't want to face reality," says matchmaker Susan Trombetti. "Other times, they just miss them if their picker is off or they lack boundaries. You can clearly see them in hindsight and lots of people [realize] the warnings were there." Loser men often show their true colors early on in a relationship, so it is important to pay attention to these behaviors and not ignore them.
2. Call him out on his BS
If you believe that the negative traits your partner has are ones that can be addressed and fixed and you are not ready to end the relationship, it is important to communicate your concerns to him. "Let your partner know if their behavior or emotion is unacceptable and unsustainable for you and why," advises licensed clinical psychologist Jessica January Behr, Psy.D. She suggests that it is possible that your partner may not be a loser, but rather someone who is "unaware of the impact their words or actions have on others."
3. Don't stick around in a situation you know is wrong for you
Men who exhibit negative behavior are unlikely to change and are not receptive to feedback on their actions. "If you have communicated, shared your vulnerability, and asked for what you needed and the behavior or feeling has not changed, it may be that you and this individual aren't compatible at this time," according to Dr. Behr. It is not worth your time to try to change someone who does not want to improve themselves. Life is too short to waste it on someone who does not treat you well.
