Some people may choose to be in a relationship for the sake of companionship and security, rather than out of genuine love and affection. If your partner is using you to pass the time and is not truly invested in the relationship, they may not be worth your effort. While you may hope for a bright future with this person, it's important to recognize the signs that they are not truly in love with you and are merely sticking around until something better comes along.
1. You're Never A Priority
One major indication that your partner is not in love with you is if they prioritize their interests and activities over spending time with you. For example, if they choose to spend time with their friends or engage in solo pursuits instead of attending events that are important to you, such as a friend's engagement party, it shows that they are not prioritizing the relationship.
2. All His Friends Are In Relationships
If all of your partner's friends are in committed relationships, they may feel pressure to be in a relationship as well as to fit in with the group. While you may be a convenient choice as a partner to attend events with, it is important to consider whether or not they are truly invested in the relationship. If they are using you as a way to avoid being the "third wheel" with their friends but do not show genuine love and affection towards you, it may be a sign that they are not fully committed to the relationship and are keeping their options open for the possibility of being single again in the future.
3. He's Already Dumped You Once
Your partner ended the relationship and then came back a month later because they were no longer enjoying the dating scene and wanted something easy and convenient. While they had already determined that you were not the right fit for them, they knew that you would give them a second chance. Instead of being single, they saw the benefits of having regular intimacy and a consistent Saturday night date in the form of you.
4. He'll Rarely Go Out Of His Way For You
When in a loving and committed relationship, your partner should be willing to offer their support and assistance when you need it. This can include things like helping you assemble a new piece of furniture or giving you a ride after a dental appointment. If your partner sees these acts of kindness as an obligation or burden, it may be a sign that they are not truly in love with you. A genuine, loving partner will be happy to be there for you and show their support in small and big ways alike.
5. Everything Is On His Schedule
If you find yourself constantly waiting for your partner to initiate plans or make time for you, it may be a sign that you are not a priority in their life. If they have an active life and you feel like an afterthought or something they will only fit in if they have nothing else going on, it may be a sign that they do not truly love you. A partner who is in love with you will make an effort to include you in their life and make time for you, regardless of their other commitments or obligations.
6. He Makes No Effort With Your Friends And Family
If your partner is not interested in getting serious with you, they may not put effort into building relationships with your friends and family. They may avoid spending time with them unless it is necessary, and may not go out of their way to make a good impression or show interest in getting to know them. This lack of effort may be a sign that they do not see a long-term future with you and are not truly invested in the relationship.
7. You Make Things Really Easy For Him
If your partner is content with giving you the bare minimum and does not seem willing to go above and beyond, it may be because you have not communicated your expectations for the relationship. If you never discuss the future or try to set goals or benchmarks for the relationship, they may assume that they can continue meeting the low bar you have set. However, if the moment you try to have a conversation about the future, they become hesitant or resistant, it may be a sign that they were only interested in being with you as long as you did not expect anything serious.
8. He Avoids Talking About The Future
If your partner is truly in love with you, they will be willing to have open and honest conversations about the future of the relationship. If they avoid or deflect discussions about topics such as moving in together or marriage, it may be a sign that they do not see a long-term future with you.
9. He Has Never Said He Loves You
While actions can certainly speak louder than words, it is still important for your partner to express their love and affection for you through words as well. If you have been in a relationship for a significant amount of time and your partner has never said "I love you," it is worth considering why this may be the case.
10. Your Relationship Isn't Moving Forward
While it is natural for relationships to evolve and change over time, it is important to consider whether or not your partner is willing to take steps toward a shared future. This may include moving in together or making long-term plans. If your partner is resistant to these types of commitments, it may be a sign that they want to keep the relationship at a distance and are not fully invested in building a future with you.
11. You Know He's Still On Dating Apps
If your partner still has dating apps or profiles on their phone, it may be a sign that they are not fully committed to the relationship. Even if they claim that they haven't used them in a while or didn't realize they still had them, the fact that they have not deleted them suggests that they want to keep their options open or may even be actively seeking out other potential partners.
12. He's Rarely Interested In Hanging Out When Sex Isn't On The Table
If your relationship with your partner seems to be primarily centered around sexual activity and they lose interest or become disinterested when it is not on the table, it may be a sign that they are not truly invested in the relationship. If they are only interested in you when they are feeling physically attracted to you, it may indicate that they do not have a genuine emotional connection with you.
What To Do When You Notice The Signs He's Not In Love With You
The decision of whether or not to pursue a romantic relationship with this person depends on your feelings for them. If you are content with just spending time together and do not have strong romantic feelings for them, then it may be fine to continue a casual relationship. However, if you have strong feelings for them and they do not reciprocate, you may need to consider whether or not you want to continue the relationship as it is.
1. Put Some Distance Between You
It is likely that this person has come to expect your presence and assumes that your relationship will always be as it is currently. However, this is not necessarily the case. By creating some distance, whether it be physical, emotional, or mental, you can communicate that there are issues in the relationship and also take the time to consider your options.
Get A Life
It's important to maintain a full and fulfilling life outside of the relationship. If you have always made yourself available whenever your partner wants to hang out or communicate, it's time to change that. Show your partner that you are not willing to accept being treated as a low priority or second choice by filling your schedule with other activities and not adjusting your plans when they reach out to you. This will demonstrate that you are not willing to constantly rearrange your schedule to accommodate their needs, and they will come to understand that things cannot always be on their terms.
3. Get With Your Girls
It can be painful and disheartening to realize that your partner is no longer in love with you. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends can help boost your self-esteem and remind you of your own worth. Your friends can provide emotional support and help you remember that your partner's lack of love for you does not define your value as a person. Spending time with your friends can also help you feel less alone and provide an outlet for any negative emotions you may be experiencing.
4. Talk To Him About It
Eventually, it may be necessary to be straightforward and honest with your partner about your feelings and desires. They may be keeping their distance because they are unsure of your level of commitment to the relationship. It takes courage to be vulnerable and express your desires, but it is important to do so to clarify where you stand with your partner. If you are not on the same page, it is important to address this and consider your options moving forward.
5. Walk Away
If your partner is not in love with you and it seems unlikely that they will ever develop such feelings, it may be necessary to end the relationship. It is not healthy or productive to invest time and energy into someone unable or unwilling to love you in the way that you need and deserve. While being single may be difficult in the short term, it is ultimately better than staying in a relationship with someone who does not value or appreciates you.