Navigating the dating scene can often resemble a battlefield, leading us to erect defenses and engage in strategic maneuvers to safeguard our hearts. However, these tactics usually prove ineffective and can even backfire, causing us to come across as insensitive individuals. Therefore, it's crucial to recognize when our approach to love is misguided. Here are 12 dating strategies that you should steer clear of:
1. Dominating The Conversation All The Time
Of course, impressing your date is important to win them over, but the focus shouldn't solely be on you. Dating is a mutual process of getting to know each other, so it's essential to give your date the opportunity to speak and actively listen to what they have to say. Dominating the conversation with your own self-promotion can convey an overly egocentric personality.
2. Canceling Dates Or Leaving Someone On The Back Burner Regularly
If you enjoy socializing and going out, it's understandable to want to have contingency plans in case your original plans fall through. However, this behavior can be perceived as impolite, and it becomes evident to your date that they can only reach you on your terms.
3. Playing Hard To Get Constantly
In the initial stages, it's acceptable to leave your date yearning for more. However, once a considerable amount of time has passed, it's reasonable to have a sense of whether or not you genuinely like them. Continuously playing mind games and keeping them chasing you just to boost your ego is selfish, immature, and impedes them from finding someone who genuinely reciprocates their interest.
4. Demanding That He's Always Available
It's human nature to crave attention and dislike being ignored. However, if you realize that you're behaving hypocritically in this area, it's essential to rectify it. You can't expect your date to respond to you within minutes after disappearing for days on end. Such behavior is unrealistic and egocentric, so it's crucial to acknowledge it and move past it.
5. Putting On The "Read Receipt" But Purposely Not Responding
Occasionally, forgetting to respond to messages is a genuine mistake. However, at times, individuals enjoy asserting dominance, even in trivial matters such as texting. If you intentionally let your date see that you've read their messages without responding to make them anxious, it indicates a strange power dynamic, and this behavior should cease.
6. Hiding Your Intentions With Someone To Keep Them On The Hook
Knowing that you're not romantically interested in someone, yet continuing to allow them to treat you well and boost your self-esteem when you're feeling low, is unfair. Essentially, you're taking advantage of their kindness. If you don't feel a romantic connection, it's essential to be honest with them and express your desire to remain friends.
7. Cheating, Plain And Simple
Cheating can be attributed to both opportunity and power dynamics. Some individuals may crave the power to have someone on the side while still receiving full attention from their partner, whereas others may want to cause harm to someone they profess to love. Regardless of the motivation, cheating is a heinous act that can inflict immense pain on the victim, so it's crucial to avoid engaging in such behavior.
8. Gaslighting Him When You Know He's Right
Persisting in denying a falsehood even after being caught is a form of gaslighting, which is a type of mental abuse that can cause the victim to question their recollection, sanity, or judgment. Honesty is always the best policy, so it's essential to refrain from playing mind games and be truthful instead.
9. Ghosting A Person You've Been Seeing
It's acceptable to distance yourself from someone you don't know well since you don't owe them anything. However, it's a different matter to entirely vanish on someone you've been seeing for several months or have a relationship with. At this point, they've likely earned some degree of respect, so it's essential to treat them with honesty and maturity by ending things properly.
10. Never Allowing Yourself To Be Vulnerable
Keeping your emotions bottled up or oversharing personal details can both seem appealing for different reasons. On the one hand, you're less likely to be hurt by others if you don't let them get too close. However, on the other hand, this approach can prevent you from forming truly loving and trusting relationships.
11. Not Letting Your Ex Move On
It's natural to want to be the one that got away for at least one of our exes as it can make us feel desirable, knowing that someone out there is probably still thinking about us even though the relationship is over. However, if you're intentionally hanging around and sabotaging your ex's attempts to move on without any intention of reconciling with them, you're playing a cruel and hurtful game.
12. Never Taking "No" For An Answer
Respecting other people's boundaries is crucial, so if someone clearly expresses that they're not interested in you, it's important to accept their decision and not try to persuade or pressure them into changing their mind. Failing to do so would constitute harassment.