If your BFF has confessed to cheating on her boyfriend, it is understandable that you may be feeling shocked and unsure about how to respond. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also acknowledging the gravity of the situation.
1. Be honest
Because she's your best friend, it's important to be honest with her. Let her know what you truly believe. It seems like she's being unjust to her partner, and there's a risk she may ruin her life. Being straightforward with her may help her sort out her thoughts and give her a sense of reality. However, it's essential to deliver your message with kindness.
2. Focus on support
As she has shared something very personal with you, it's crucial not to give her a lecture. It wouldn't help if you said she always chooses terrible boyfriends or has commitment issues. Even though she's cheating on her partner, it doesn't mean she's happy with what she's doing. She's probably struggling, so she needs your support.
3. Don't enable her
It's effortless to become involved in your friend's predicament by covering for her when her partner inquires about her whereabouts or accompanying her on her dates to avoid suspicion. However, refrain from doing so. This only places you in an awkward position and makes you feel culpable. It's not right for you, and it won't ultimately assist her.
4. Don't waste your breath
It's understandable to have the urge to influence your best friend to alter her behavior, but she is in control of her own life. She has to decide for herself. You shouldn't feel obligated to change her because it won't lead you anywhere. It will only lead to arguments between you both, which isn't worth the effort.
5. Don't let it change your friendship
Your friendship doesn't have to be affected by this, unless you've decided that you can't be friends with someone who cheats, which is a different matter. If you still want to be friends, you should be able to acknowledge and appreciate the good qualities in your friend, without allowing this aspect of her personal life to impact your relationship. Recall instances when she supported you, and how valuable it was to have her as your friend.
6. Don't change towards her partner
Perhaps she's cheating because her partner is unpleasant, or maybe she doesn't have feelings for him anymore. The reason isn't crucial – keep in mind that there are always two sides to a story. It's best not to alter your conduct and approach toward her partner as it may lead to future conflict. If they remain together, which is a possibility, it will only generate more issues for you.
7. Set yourself some boundaries
Being too close to your friend can make it easy to be engulfed in her drama, but it's important to remember that it's her problem, not yours. You need to establish boundaries to prevent her choices from affecting you. For instance, if she's constantly venting to you to the point of exhaustion, it's best to limit your availability to conserve your energy. Don't neglect yourself.
8. Try not to judge
If you've experienced infidelity before, you may feel angry with your friend, but it's not about your past, and she's not doing it to hurt you. It's her life and her problems. Keep an open mind about what's happening to avoid becoming the judgmental friend who makes everything about yourself. You don't have to condone what she's doing, but don't make her feel as though she deserves to be criticized. Everyone makes mistakes.
9. Don't take sides if her boyfriend is a mutual friend
It may be tempting to side with your friend's partner in this situation since he's the victim, particularly if he's also your friend, but taking sides can exacerbate the drama and cause distress among all parties involved. The best course of action is to remain impartial and separate yourself from the chaos. Don't let this issue harm your relationship with either of them since it's unrelated to you.
10. Don't spill the beans
You may become so fed up with your friend's actions that you consider informing her partner. However, this is a significant mistake! Even though you believe you have the right to inform him of what's happening behind his back, being the bearer of bad news may only result in you getting shot. Your friend may despise you, and her boyfriend may as well. People don't always handle the truth well. It's not your story to reveal so don't try to be a hero.
11. Be clear about your views on cheating
You may struggle with supporting your friend who cheats, but it's important to communicate your values with her. Let her know that you don't condone infidelity and you won't support her actions, but that you'll still be there for her as a friend. By setting boundaries and being honest, you can maintain your friendship without compromising your values.