As you spend more time being single, you may find yourself reflecting on past relationships, including an ex that you can't seem to forget. It's natural to second-guess your decision to end the relationship, but it's important to remember that questioning your decision does not mean you made the wrong choice. It's possible that you don't miss the person, but rather the feeling of being loved by someone.
1. He Pops Into Your Head When You're Lonely
He does not constantly occupy your thoughts. You only really think about him when you are alone at night. If you only think about him when you are feeling lonely, do you truly miss him? Likely, you do not miss him as much as you believe. If he were constantly on your mind all the time, that would be a different matter.
2. You Miss Going Out On Nice Dates
One of the enjoyable aspects of dating is getting dressed up and going out on nice dates, and you miss that experience. It's not that you miss going on dates with this specific person, but rather the overall experience of going out, enjoying delicious food, and engaging in enjoyable conversation with a companion.
3. He's Dating Someone Else
Before, you would occasionally think about him, but now that he is dating someone else (and the relationship seems serious), you are starting to miss him. It appears that you may be feeling jealous that he is with someone who is not you, which is a normal emotion. However, this does not necessarily mean that you want him back.
4. You Ignore The Fact That He Sucked
Can you accurately recall the details of your relationship? If so, that means you remember the numerous times he ignored your calls, constantly canceled plans with you at the last minute, and generally treated you as a low priority. Is this not the case? If your recollection is hazy or incomplete, it might be a sign that you are not fully thinking through the situation.
5. You Miss Waking Up To Cute Messages
Receiving a "Good Morning" message can be a highlight of being in a relationship. Another enjoyable aspect of dating is being able to text your partner freely and exchange cute emojis and make plans. It's normal to desire this type of connection, but it's important to remember that it's not worth settling for an ex who treated you poorly or disrespectfully. It's better to be single and have the freedom to find someone who will treat you right, rather than settling for less than you deserve.
6. You Miss Being Cuddled
Take a moment to consider whether you miss the physical act of cuddling or the person with whom you cuddled. Do you miss the feeling of being held close while you sleep, or do you simply miss the presence of someone in your bed, making affectionate gestures like tickling your back and expressing their love and respect for you?
7. You're Sick Of Watching Netflix Alone
It can be difficult to adjust to watching Netflix alone after being used to sharing the experience with a partner. Binge-watching shows like Ozark can be a bonding activity in a relationship, so it's natural to miss having a companion to enjoy it with when you're no longer in a relationship. However, it's important to remember that there are other ways to find enjoyment and companionship outside of a relationship, and it's okay to take the time to focus on yourself.
8. You Miss Having Steady Sex
If you had a fulfilling sexual relationship with your ex-boyfriend, it's understandable that you might miss that aspect of the relationship. However, it's important to remember that there are always other options and it's not necessary to return to a past relationship to experience pleasure. This doesn't mean you should make impulsive decisions or sleep with someone you don't know well, but it's important to recognize that other potential partners out there could satisfy your needs. Don't limit yourself or settle for less than you deserve.
9. You Start To Really Miss Him When You See Other Couples
It's natural to feel a sense of longing or sadness when you see other happy couples, even if your ex-boyfriend was not a kind or considerate partner. This doesn't necessarily mean that you still want to be with him, but rather that you are feeling a general sense of loss or longing for connection.
10. You're Afraid Of Never Meeting Someone
As you get older, it's natural to feel a sense of pressure or anxiety about life events and milestones, especially when you see your friends getting married or starting families. It's understandable to feel like you're falling behind or that you may never meet someone to date, but it's important to remember that these things take time and that it's okay to be patient. Instead of looking backward and dwelling on what hasn't happened yet, try to focus on the present and take steps toward your goals. Trust that the right person and opportunities will come in due time.
11. You Know You're Better Off
Have your friends expressed their belief that you are better off without your ex? Do you agree with them? When you fully understand how incompatible you and your ex were, you likely don't miss them as much. While it may not be a bad idea to start dating again, you're not just seeking someone to date temporarily. You want a long-term partner, and it's clear that your ex is not the right fit for that role.
What To Do When You Feel Like You Really Miss Him
1. Put The Phone Down
It's best not to reach out to your ex because it will likely not lead to a positive outcome. Even if you miss him, he doesn't need to know this. It may be helpful to put your phone in a location that is difficult for you to access to help you resist the urge to contact him. This will ultimately be for the best.
2. But Before You Do, Block Him On Everything
To prevent yourself from being able to contact him, consider deleting him from your contacts list and blocking him on all of your social media accounts. This will not only prevent you from seeing what he is doing, but it will also make it impossible for you to reach out to him during a moment of vulnerability.
3. Get Your Journal Out
It's important to recognize that even though you shouldn't be in contact with your ex, your feelings are valid and should be addressed. One way to do this is by writing in a journal and expressing your thoughts and feelings as if you were talking directly to your ex. This can help you process your emotions and may even help you feel better.
4. Do Something To Distract Yourself
If you find yourself missing your ex and feeling down, try to engage in activities that will take your mind off of him. Try getting off the couch, getting dressed, and going out to do something else. Keeping yourself busy may help to distract you and prevent your ex from crossing your mind.
5. Reflect On The Bad Times, Not Just The Good Ones
It can be tempting to romanticize your past relationship when you are feeling lonely and sad, but it's important to try to refocus your thoughts. Instead of dwelling on the positive aspects of the relationship, try to remember the negative aspects and how difficult the experience was. This may help to stop you from feeling like you are pining for your ex.
6. Get Together With Your Girls
Why rely on guys when you have your friends by your side? Your friends know how to cheer you up and make your life better. Call up some of your closest friends and ask them to hang out. Whether you want to go out to eat, go bowling, or watch a movie, spend time with people who know you well. You'll feel refreshed and like yourself again after spending time with them.
7. Stay Strong
Sometimes you will legitimately miss your ex. It happens. However, you're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Stand firm in the knowledge that you're better off without him. Eventually, you'll realize just how true that is. For now, fake it 'til you make it.
