11 Reasons Guys Act Different In Person Than Text (And What To Do)

There are many reasons why a guy's behavior may vary between in-person interactions and text communication. Discover the top 11 reasons and learn what you can do to address the situation.


1. He's Revealing His True Self

When you first meet a guy in person, he may appear significantly different from his text persona. This is because he is showing his true self to you. After spending some quality time together, his behavior should be more consistent in both text and in person. If he continues to exhibit different behavior in person than in text, it may indicate that something is not right.

2. He's Not Warmed Up To You Yet

Text communication gives guys the opportunity to express themselves more freely and boldly than they would in person. During the early stages of a relationship, when both parties are still getting to know each other, it is not uncommon for a guy to act differently in person than in text. As the relationship develops and the comfort level increases, this behavior should become less noticeable.

3. He Has Something To Hide

When a guy has something to hide, it is easier for him to do so through text messages. In-person interactions, however, can be much more revealing. Depending on the nature of the secret, his behavior may range from subtle differences to appearing like a completely different person. Be prepared for unusual behavior, as his behavior is unlikely to change until the issue is resolved.

4. He's Intimidated Of You In Person

Sometimes, a guy may act differently in person than in text because of feelings of intimidation when he meets you face-to-face and gets to know you better. This could be due to factors such as the type of car you drive, the school you attended, your place of work, or the family you come from. Whatever the reason, it is enough to leave him feeling intimidated and cause him to behave differently than he would in text (before he was intimidated by you).

5. He Has Little Experience Dating

Guys who lack dating experience tend to talk a good game, but their behavior may differ significantly when they are actually with you. This is due to a combination of factors such as nervousness, excitement, and attraction, which can leave them unsure of how to behave.

6. You Aren't What He Expected

If you are different from what a guy expected based on your text messages, phone conversations, or online interactions, he may react in unexpected ways. This could be because he was only looking for a casual hookup with a specific type of person, or there may be something about you that he finds unappealing, such as being in a relationship or knowing his ex. In any case, his behavior may change and he may cut things short.

7. He Just Wanted To Get In Your Pants

Guys who only have one thing on their mind may start acting differently the moment they are with you. They may drop their act and become more forward, or they may become upset if they realize you're not interested in sleeping with them. This is not a new phenomenon, as guys have been known to act differently in person than they do in text messages when they only have sex on the mind.

8. He's Scared Of Your Judgment

Despite the macho exterior, guys are capable of deep emotions, just like women. If a guy is scared of your judgment on a certain aspect of himself, he may act differently around you when the topic is brought up or even just thought about. Despite their seemingly tough exterior, guys have feelings too, and they can be just as intense or even more so than those of women.

9. He's Too Nervous

Through text messages, he might appear to be suave and smooth-talking, but in reality, he may be just as awkward and uncertain in his words and actions as a typical schoolboy on his first date with a girl. Therefore, if your partner isn't known for being a ladies' man, don't be surprised if he behaves differently than he does in text at first. Once he becomes more comfortable with you and you with him, he'll relax and his true self will start to emerge.

10. He Doesn't Know What To Do

When a guy is uncertain about what to do, particularly in the presence of someone he likes, he may act like a deer in the headlights on the inside. Despite his exterior actions and behavior appearing different, he is probably feeling much more nervous and uncomfortable than anyone else in the room. This behavior is a result of his lack of knowledge about how to act or what to do, and he is likely not even aware of what he's saying or doing.

11. He's Out Of His Comfort Zone

Lastly, guys may feel uncomfortable because of their attempts to impress or prove themselves to someone they're romantically interested in. This could be due to the setting, the people around them, or even the level of attraction they feel towards you. Regardless of the reason, as they become more relaxed and comfortable with the situation, they will start to seem more like themselves.


Now that you understand some of the reasons why guys may act differently in person compared to text, here are some tips for how to handle it:

- Express your feelings

- Help him feel at ease

- Steer clear of sensitive topics

- Find common ground

- Give him room to breathe

- Proceed slowly

- Don't take things to heart

- Try not to come across as intimidating


How Do You Know If A Guy Is Not Interested In You Through Text?

While there are a few signs that can indicate a guy is interested in you via text, none of them are foolproof. Some common indicators are talking about sex frequently, adding lol or "haha" to all messages, or always "missing" you. Other signs include asking you to come over, making excuses, or even ghosting you to get you to come over.

Why Does He Seem Interested But Doesn't Text?

Although a guy may be highly interested in you, he may not text much or at all. This could be due to several reasons, including poor communication skills, fear of rejection, or the possibility that you may not like him as much as he likes you. It could even be because he doesn't have a good phone at the moment.

Why Do Guys Reduce Texting?

When a guy starts texting less, there is usually a reason behind it, but sometimes it's simply because he's been busy. The most common reasons include gauging your interest, wanting to see if you will initiate conversation, or see if you'll tell him that you miss him.