Love can be wonderful, but finding it may require taking risks and putting yourself out there. However, it's important to remember that you should never compromise your self-respect or do things that may make you appear as just a "hookup" instead of a potential girlfriend. Here are 8 things to avoid when searching for love.
1. Not having a life
Avoid becoming the type of person whose entire life revolves around a guy. This can make you appear desperate and not interesting. Instead, focus on living a fulfilling life with strong friendships, passions, healthy habits, and fun activities. Set standards for how men should treat you, and only make yourself available to those who meet them. Remember, you have better things to do if someone doesn't treat you well.
2. Being way too accommodating
Compromise is important in any relationship, but it's not healthy to pretend to be someone you're not. Avoid being a doormat by being true to yourself, having your own opinions and preferences. Being assertive and having your own goals, plans and ideas is a lot more attractive than being a pushover. Remember, it's important to maintain your own individuality and not give up everything for someone else.
3. Tolerating BS
If a guy is sending mixed signals and only reaching out to you when it's convenient for him, he likely only sees you as a hookup. Allowing him to treat you this way will prevent him from taking you seriously. If you want a chance at being in a real relationship with him, it's best to ignore his texts and move on. He may come around and chase you, or you will be free to meet someone who will treat you better.
4. Being the first to reach out
When first getting to know a guy, it's best to let him reach out to you. This is a good way to gauge whether he's genuinely interested in you. If he is, he will reach out to you. If not, you should move on and focus your attention on someone else. Don't make the mistake of reaching out to him first, as it can make you appear desperate and less attractive, making you appear more like a hookup option than a potential girlfriend. Instead, wait for the next time you see him and try to have a conversation that might spark his interest and make him reach out to you.
5. Not letting him miss you
Avoid reaching out to him too soon after your first conversation. This can make you appear desperate and less attractive. Instead, show restraint and be a strong, independent woman with a fulfilling life. This will make you more desirable and make it easier for him to miss you and appreciate you. Remember, guys tend to like a challenge, so don't make it too easy for him to lose interest.
6. Tequila-fueled texting
Texting a guy who is not texting you back is not a good idea, and drunk texting is even worse. While you may think that being drunk gives you an excuse for your behavior, it will still make you appear overly invested in the guy. This can be unattractive and turn him off. Instead, avoid texting him when you are drunk. It's best to avoid this behavior altogether and not to rely on alcohol as an excuse.
7. Prematurely asking him what his deal is
When we develop feelings for a guy, it's easy to fall hard and fast, while the guy may not be as invested yet. It's important to not push the issue and to continue focusing on your own life, being confident, respectful and living your life. By doing this, you will be more attractive to him and increase the chances of him becoming more invested in you. If he doesn't come around, don't worry. If you are in a good place, you will attract other men who are interested in you.
8. Acting like he's your boyfriend before he is
It's natural to start imagining a future with someone after the first date, but remember that everyone moves at their own pace. If the guy you just hooked up with is not giving you much attention in a social setting, don't overreact. He's not your boyfriend and you have no right to complain. Instead, focus on being the confident, single woman you are and ignore him. He may take notice or he may not, but you will be avoiding the risk of him thinking you are crazy and just using you.
9. Being uptight and overbearing
Avoid acting as if you are already in a relationship, and avoid nagging him about anything. He is not obliged to answer to you, and trying to force him to do so will likely push him away. Nagging will make you appear less attractive, and may even cause him to see you as just a hookup rather than a potential girlfriend. Remember, it's important to give him space and let things develop naturally.
10. Closing off your other options
Even if you see yourself as a potential girlfriend rather than just a hookup, it's important to remember that your current relationship is casual. He may still be dating other people and it's important that you do the same. While you don't have to go on multiple dates a week, there is no reason to close yourself off to other people before things become serious with him. Doing so may cause him to feel pressured and may push him away. Keep your options open and let things develop naturally.
How To Go From Hookup To Potential Girlfriend Instead
Avoiding the behaviors listed above will certainly increase the likelihood that he will commit to you. But it's important to remember that it takes more than that to build a strong relationship. You will need to put in extra effort to make him want to commit to you.
It's important to manage your emotions and not let them control your actions. If you let your feelings dictate your behavior, it may cause problems in the future. Whether this relationship develops into something serious or not, it's best to be open to whatever happens. By being laid-back and not getting too invested, you will be more attractive to him and he will see you as a potential girlfriend rather than just a hookup.
2. Make him come to you sometimes
It's perfectly fine to text a guy first, but avoid initiating conversation or making plans every time. It can make you appear desperate and like you have nothing else going on in your life. Instead, wait for him to reach out to you sometimes, and let him make the first move. If he wants to see you, make him put effort into asking you out and making plans.
3. Learn the power of saying no
It can be tempting to make yourself available to a guy every time he wants to hang out, but it's important to remember that you have a life outside of him. Continue to do the things you enjoyed before you met him. Don't be available every time he asks to hang out, it makes you look too eager. Instead, be selective and make him work for your time by showing him that your time is valuable. This will make him see you as a potential girlfriend rather than just a hookup.
4. Call him out on his BS
Hold him accountable for his actions. If he lies, call him out on it. If he's being disrespectful, let him know that you won't tolerate it. Be assertive, but avoid being too combative or complaining excessively. Showing that you know how to stand up for yourself will earn his respect. Men respect women who are self-assured and set clear boundaries.
5. Keep him guessing
Ultimately, guys tend to enjoy the excitement of chasing a woman they're interested in. They want to be with someone who is exciting, unpredictable in a good way, and keeps things interesting. To keep him interested, avoid falling into a routine with him and make sure to keep things fun and exciting when you're together. This will not only keep him interested but also make sure you're enjoying your time with him.