Romance

10 Ways I Accidentally Pushed My Boyfriend Away Without Even Realizing It

In the beginning, I held the belief that the love between my partner and I had merely fizzled out. However, upon reflecting on the collapse of our relationship, I have come to understand how much I contributed to its demise. My behavior over time caused me to push my boyfriend out of my life, and I bear sole responsibility for the breakdown. I hope that by sharing my experience, others can avoid similar heartbreaks.

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1. My Insecurities Got The Best Of Me

As the initial phase of our relationship faded, I found myself slowly unraveling. Erroneously believing that my partner was losing interest, I allowed my insecurities to surface, becoming clingy, needy, and generally irritating. Rather than acknowledging that relationships have natural ups and downs, I overreacted, exacerbating the situation.

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2. I Feared Uncertainty

I had a particular vision for our relationship, and I wanted it to follow a certain plan with traditional milestones reached within a specific timeframe. However, this rigidity only served to alienate my partner further. I now understand that my fear of uncertainty was the root cause of my behavior. Rather than taking things one day at a time, I needed to know where our relationship was going and how my partner felt about me, ultimately driving us apart.

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3. I Was Jealous Of Anything That Moved

Admittedly, my jealousy toward my significant other has caused problems in our relationship. Whenever he would spend time with his female friends, I would become upset and demand that he only spend time with me. Unfortunately, this irrational behavior caused resentment and ultimately further damaged our relationship.

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4. I Played Too Many Times

While books on dating and relationships can provide guidance, I became too fixated on playing games when I first met my partner. Instead of being true to myself and following my heart, I relied on contrived tactics that created distance between us. Ultimately, I found it difficult to maintain this fa├žade and when I finally began to be myself, it felt like a betrayal to my partner.

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5. I Was Too Quick To Apologize

Conflict and disagreements are not my favorite, and I tend to avoid them whenever possible. However, when we did argue, I would often apologize quickly, regardless of whether or not I was at fault. I believed that this would resolve the issue between us, but it only made me appear insecure and passive. Unsurprisingly, my partner's attraction to me faded as a result.

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6. I Stopped Following His Lead

Following his lead made our relationship run smoothly, with little difficulty. I allowed him to take charge of planning dates and pursuing me wholeheartedly. But when my insecurities took over, I tried to take control and things fell apart.

7. I Wanted To Be With Him 24/7

I adored everything about him, and naturally wanted to spend time together. However, it is important for both partners to have personal time apart. I struggled to understand this, and took it personally when he declined to hang out on weekends. I failed to respect his need for space.

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8. He Didn't Have To Work For It

Relationships are not about playing games, but about allowing someone to earn their place in your life over time. I did not do this. I opened up my heart to him too soon, confessing my love before he was ready, and always prioritized his needs over my own. He found it easy, so it was no surprise when he eventually lost interest and distanced himself.

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9. I Made Unfair Comparisons

Comparing my current boyfriend to past partners created chaos in our once-great relationship. I couldn't simply appreciate him for who he was. Instead, I constantly critiqued his actions, both those he took and those he didn't. Whenever my best friend's boyfriend did something particularly thoughtful, I found myself wondering why my boyfriend couldn't do the same. This mindset was not only unhealthy, but it also brought about the demise of our relationship.

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10. I Gave Too Much

Research indicates that in romantic relationships, receiving is better than giving. The partner who gives more experiences greater positivity and happiness. However, I hindered my boyfriend from feeling this way by going overboard with my own giving and favors. Rather than bringing us closer together, this approach had the opposite effect.

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