I don’t believe that love is blind. It wasn’t created to be. You just have to ask yourself if it is true love or if you are mistaking it for something else.
” What you think is love is truly not. You need to elevate and find.” -Lauryn Hill
What Love Looks Like
Love is complete acceptance – this love is accepting a person for who they are and not what someone wants them to be.
It is unconditional – this love has no limitations but it does have boundaries.
True love is selfless – this love is doing something for someone from the heart without expecting anything in return.
What Love is Not
Love of Being Needed
This type of relationship involves you only seeing your partner when they need something from you. You give everything to them and never get anything in return. I’m not saying that you have to be seeking anything. I just believe that true love is a two-way street.
You are constantly thinking of them. You get excited at the mere thought of them. They can do no wrong in your eyes. It is okay to be making them number 1, just take it slow and get to know the person. If it is meant to be love will follow.
I get it. Great sex can make you feel good. If you are never able to converse or cuddle afterwards there is no love here. If your partner only makes time for sex that is all they are with you for.
Dating for Convenience
There is a difference between spending quality time with someone is spending too much time with them. And this relationship, a person may begin to neglect those who came before their partner. You even get to the point where you no longer have romantic emotions towards each other. You are just comfortable with each other.
In this relationship, your partner feels Superior to you. They use manipulation tactics to break your present being in order to mold you into how they want you to be. When you attempt to leave them they typically say, “You will never be anything without me.” or ” I made you and I can break you.” You are not to be looked at as anyone’s property nor to be treated like s***.
Comfort and Security
There are two scenarios that can be used to describe this toxicity . One way is when your partner comes over only to use you to ease their boredom. The other way is they may have a circle of friends who are in great relationships so you stay with your partner to avoid being the Oddball out. Convenience is not love.
In this relationship , you are being treated wonderfully behind closed doors but you can never be seen in public. You are definitely not invited to functions of close friends or relatives. You are their little secret. They continue to tell you that they will leave their spouse but never do. Your time is valuable. Stop allowing this person to waste it.
Unlike a hidden relationship, this one allows you to be seen with him everywhere. When you are in public, they can’t keep their eyes off of you. The problem with that is they don’t want you talking to anybody else. Want you all to themselves is not healthy and can be dangerous. This type of relationship lacks trust and is controlling. Try to get out while you can because if they cannot have you no one will.
Your partner may have a college degree, drive a nice car, and even live in a decent neighborhood . But that is all there is to them. On paper, they look like the ideal person that most would want to be with. In person they are completely different.
I can see how being with the same person for 100 years can feel like love. You have woken up to the same face for a very long time. So long that the relationship has become all you know. Most usually remain here because they consider it to be loyalty comforting or a way to show that they aren’t a quitter. Whatever your reason maybe, if there is no spark, it isn’t love. Only convenience.