It's completely acceptable for girls to initiate contact with guys, whether it's through text, asking them out, or initiating a kiss. However, it's important to be mindful of the frequency and timing of your texts, especially when you're still getting to know each other. Avoid constantly texting, as it can give the impression that you're constantly attached to your phone and not considering the other person's boundaries. Here are 10 times when it's best to put your phone down.
1. When You're Drunk
If you and your partner have been together for a long time, a few drunken texts probably won't be a big deal. However, if you're just starting to see each other, it's probably a good idea to be more mindful of your texting habits. One way to do this is to limit your phone use, or even use an app that requires you to solve a math problem before sending a text. This can help ensure that you're not making any impulsive decisions that you might later regret.
2. In The Middle Of The Night
Sending a text message to a guy late at night can give the impression that you're only looking for a casual hookup. This can be particularly problematic if you're interested in a more serious relationship with him. To avoid sending the wrong message, it's best to avoid texting late at night, especially if you're not looking for a casual fling. This can help ensure that he sees you as more than just a casual partner.
3. Every Single Morning, Without Fail
Sending a daily good morning text message may seem like a thoughtful gesture, but it could be perceived as coming on too strong. Your partner may not want to engage in lengthy text conversations every morning, and may prefer to have some space and independence. It's important to respect their boundaries and not expect constant communication. Remember to also prioritize your own life and activities, rather than focusing all of your attention on the relationship.
4. When You Really Have Nothing To Talk About
Guys generally don't enjoy engaging in endless text conversations with no real substance. If you don't have much to say, it's probably best to hold off on sending a message. It can be frustrating for both parties to try and keep a conversation going when there's nothing meaningful to discuss. Save the texting for when you have something more interesting or important to say.
5. Immediately After A Date
While it's not ideal to play games in a relationship, it can be beneficial to hold back on expressing your full feelings in the early stages. If you had a good time with him and want to send a message the next day, go ahead, but try to keep it casual and low-key. It's important to maintain some sense of mystery and allow him to pursue you to some extent. This can help keep the relationship dynamic balanced and make it more exciting for both parties.
6. When You Know He's With His Friends
If you're unsure of what your partner is doing and it's not bothering you, it's fine to let it be. However, if you know that he's hanging out with friends and he knows that you know, it's best to give him some space. If he likes you, he'll text you when he has the chance and will appreciate that you weren't excessively needy or annoying while he was busy. Giving each other some space and independence can be important for maintaining a healthy and dynamic relationship.
7. When He Knows You're With Your Friends
Having a fulfilling life outside of the relationship is important for both parties. If you can't go a few hours without texting your partner while you're hanging out with friends, it may give the impression that you don't have a strong support system and are overly reliant on the relationship. This can be a red flag for some people, as it may suggest that you'll be too clingy and overly involved in their life. It's important to maintain a sense of independence and prioritize your own friendships and activities.
8. When He's At Work
It's generally a good idea to avoid texting your partner when you know they're at work, unless it's something important. Similarly, if you're texting them excessively throughout the day, it may give the impression that you either don't have a job or don't take it seriously. To avoid sending this message, try to be mindful of the frequency and timing of your texts, and save them for when you have something meaningful to say or a specific purpose.
9. When You're Mad At Him
Starting an argument via text message is generally a bad idea, as important elements such as context, tone, and intent can be easily misconstrued. This can lead to misunderstandings and escalate the conflict further. It's usually better to address issues in person, as it allows for better communication and a more constructive resolution. Additionally, starting an argument over text may make your partner question your judgment and communication skills. Try to avoid using text as a medium for resolving conflicts, and opt for a face-to-face conversation instead.
10. When He's Not Responding
If you've sent one or two text messages and your partner hasn't responded yet, it's best to wait before sending any more. It's possible that they simply haven't seen your messages or are busy, but it's also possible that they don't want to respond at this time. Continuing to text them without a response can make you appear unstable and desperate, so it's best to give them some space and wait for them to initiate communication. Remember, it's okay to give your partner some breathing room and not be in constant contact.
Still On The Fence? More Signs You Really Shouldn't Text Him
1. You've Already Texted Him More Than Once Since You Last Talked
If the last message in your conversation was from you and your partner hasn't responded yet, it's probably best to wait for them to initiate further communication. They may be busy or simply not interested in continuing the conversation at this time. It's important to remember that it's not your responsibility to keep the conversation going and that it's okay to give your partner some space. If they're interested in continuing the conversation, they'll get back to you when they have the opportunity. In the meantime, focus on other activities and give them some breathing room.
2. You're Always The One Who Reaches Out First
If you're consistently the one who initiates conversations and puts in extra effort to keep them going, despite your partner's lack of engagement, it may be a good idea to let them take the lead for a while. You've already tried initiating communication and it hasn't seemed to improve the dynamic of your conversations. By taking a step back and letting your partner initiate communication, you can see if they're interested in maintaining a more active dialogue. If they're not, it may be a sign that they're not as invested in the relationship as you are. In that case, it's important to communicate your needs and boundaries, and consider if the relationship is fulfilling for you.
3. There's A Good Chance He Won't Respond
If you know that your partner is busy or not in the mood to talk, it's probably best to avoid texting them. It's a waste of your time and energy, and you have better things to do. Instead, wait until a more opportune time to get in touch, and if your partner is interested in chatting then, they'll reach out to you. By respecting their boundaries and current state of mind, you can avoid unnecessary conflict and maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
4. It's The Middle Of The Night
Texting your partner late at night can often lead to unwanted or unexpected outcomes, and it's usually best to avoid it. While there's nothing inherently wrong with having a sexual relationship, if you're interested in something more meaningful, it may be best to save your conversations for the daylight hours. This can help ensure that you're able to have more substantial and diverse discussions, and can help build a stronger foundation for a long-term relationship.
5. He's Already Ignored You On Other Platforms
If you've already tried to engage with your partner on social media and been ignored, it's unlikely that texting them will be any more successful. In fact, it may even make them less inclined to want to chat with you, as it could give the impression that you're overly persistent or desperate for attention. It's important to remember that it's okay to give your partner some space and not constantly seek their attention. If you're feeling ignored or neglected, it may be a good idea to communicate your needs and boundaries in a healthy and respectful manner.
6. You Know You'll Obsess Over Waiting For His Response
To preserve your own well-being, it is best to let him initiate contact if you know that constantly checking for a response from him will cause you undue stress and anxiety. Trust that he will reach out to you in due time and try to focus on other things in the meantime.
Why You Shouldn't Reach Out Even If You're Desperate To Talk
1. It Undermines Your Worth
Sending multiple texts to him can convey a lack of self-respect and a willingness to accept poor treatment. It can also indicate a desire to be with him at any cost, even if it means sacrificing your own standards and values. This can establish an unhealthy dynamic in the potential relationship and may lead to future issues. It is important to communicate your worth and set boundaries in any relationship, and demonstrating that you expect to be treated with respect is crucial.
2. He'll Be Less Likely To Respond
If you consistently respond promptly to his texts, he may view you as a reliable backup option and lack a sense of urgency in pursuing you. Additionally, if you are always available and eager to communicate with him, he may take your attention for granted and not prioritize the relationship. By continuing to text a guy who is ghosting you, you may be reinforcing this dynamic and prolonging the cycle of being taken for granted. It is important to maintain your own sense of self-worth and not settle for being treated as a backup option.
3. He Had His Chance
It is important to consider how much effort and attention you have invested in this person and whether or not it is being reciprocated. If you have given him numerous opportunities to show interest and he has not responded in kind, it may be time to accept that he is not interested in a relationship with you. Continuing to pursue someone who is not interested can be fruitless and may even push them further away. It is unfortunate when someone is not upfront about their feelings, but it is better to accept the reality of the situation and move on rather than clinging to the hope of a potential relationship that is not meant to be.
4. It Prevents You From Putting Him Behind You
If you have made multiple attempts to contact someone who is not responding, it may be time to accept that they are not interested in communication and move on. Obsessing over ways to get a response from them will likely only lead to further disappointment and negative feelings. It is important to recognize when it is time to let go and focus on taking care of yourself. It may be difficult at first, but it is ultimately for the best and will allow you to start feeling better and moving forward.
5. You'll Regret It
In hindsight, it can be surprising to reflect on the amount of time and energy that was spent on someone who did not respect or value us. It is important to remember that it is not worth investing in a person who is not worth your time and effort. Continuing to try and win over someone who is not interested or does not treat you with respect can be a waste of time and may cause unnecessary frustration and heartache. It may be difficult in the moment, but it is ultimately better to let go and move on to things and people who are deserving of your time and attention.
6. What Are You Hoping To Achieve?
It may be helpful to consider the possible outcomes of continuing to reach out to this person. If they have not shown a desire to engage in meaningful or respectful communication with you in the past, it is unlikely that this will change. It may be disheartening, but it is important to be realistic about the potential for the relationship and whether it is worth continuing to pursue. It may be time to accept that this person is not interested in a relationship and move on, rather than clinging to unrealistic expectations.
7. You Wouldn't Let Your Friends Treat You Like This
It can be difficult to let go of someone we care about, but it is important to remember that we deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. If we would not tolerate this kind of behavior from a friend, we should not accept it from someone we are interested in romantically. It is not fair to ourselves to settle for less than we deserve and it is important to hold ourselves to a high standard in relationships. Remember that it is okay to expect and demand respect in any relationship.
8. Listen To Your Gut
If you are questioning whether or not you should text someone, it may be a sign that something is not right in the relationship. It is important to listen to your instincts and trust your own judgment. While it can be difficult to let go of someone, it may be necessary in order to move on and take care of yourself. If you are struggling to make the decision to end your emotional attachment to this person, it may be a sign that it is time to do so. Trust yourself and your own feelings, and try to let go of any hesitation or doubts you may have.
So, When Should You Text Him?
1. Text Him The Evening Or Day After A Great Date
There are often social norms and expectations surrounding communication after a first date, but it is ultimately up to you and your own feelings. If you feel confident that you had a good time on the date and you want to reach out to the other person, there is nothing wrong with doing so. It is possible that the other person will appreciate and respond positively to your message. It is important to trust your own instincts and not be overly concerned with following strict rules or avoiding being perceived as "creepy" or "needy."
2. If He Initiated The Last Conversation, Text Him
Effective communication and mutual effort are important components of a healthy relationship. If you are interested in pursuing a relationship with someone, it is okay to show your interest and initiate communication. However, it is also important to consider the other person's level of interest and not become overly demanding or persistent. If someone has not been responsive or has not made an effort to communicate, it may be best to move on rather than continuing to invest time and energy in the relationship.
3. Double Texting Is Okay… In Some Circumstances
It is possible that some people may prefer in-person communication or may be more responsive to certain methods of communication than others. If you are confident that the person you are interested in is worth the effort and is interested in you as well, it is okay to reach out to them via text even if they have not responded to your previous messages. However, if you are unsure of their level of interest or if they do not meet your standards, it may not be worthwhile to continue trying to communicate with them. It is important to consider the other person's feelings and not risk annoying or frustrating them.
4. Depending On Your Relationship, It's Okay To Text First If You Need To Vent
It is understandable to want to vent to someone you care about after a difficult day, but it is important to consider the nature of your relationship before doing so. If you have a strong, established connection with someone, they may be more understanding and willing to listen to your frustrations. However, if you have only been on a few dates or have a more casual relationship, it may be best to limit the amount of venting you do via text. It is important to respect the other person's boundaries and not overwhelm them with excessive complaints. It is also important to be mindful of the potential for your venting to push the other person away or cause them to become less interested in the relationship.
5. Text Only When You're Sober
It is generally not a good idea to send text messages while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Substance use can impair judgment and decision-making, and it is possible to say or do things that you may regret later on. It is important to be mindful of this and wait until you are sober to communicate with others, especially if you are unsure of how your words or actions may be received. This can help you avoid any potentially embarrassing or uncomfortable situations and ensure that you are able to fully think through your decisions before sending a message.
6. Know That Weekend Texting Is Different From Weekday Texting
It is important to consider the context and the nature of your relationship when deciding when and how often to text someone. If you are primarily interested in a casual, physical relationship, it may be more appropriate to reach out on the weekends. However, if you are looking to get to know someone on a deeper level and potentially establish a more serious relationship, it may be more effective to communicate with them during the week. It is also important to be mindful of the other person's expectations and preferences, as texting too frequently or at inappropriate times may be perceived as pushy or disrespectful.
7. If He's An Ex, Text Him Only If You Have A Clear Goal
It is okay to reach out to an ex if you have a specific reason for doing so, such as needing help or information. However, it is important to be mindful of the nature of your relationship and not text them excessively or without a clear purpose. If you are just feeling bored or curious about what they are doing, it may be best to resist the urge to text them and instead focus on other activities or hobbies. It is important to respect the boundaries of your relationship and not risk causing unnecessary tension or discomfort.
8. Text Only If You Want To Apologize After A Recent Fight
If you are unable to meet in person, texting can be an effective way to apologize for hurting someone's feelings or to express your own hurt. It is important to choose your words carefully and try to avoid escalating the situation or causing further conflict. If the other person is willing to listen and work to resolve any issues, it may be possible to repair the relationship. However, if the other person is not interested in making amends or does not value your feelings, it may be best to move on and focus on relationships that are more healthy and supportive.
9. Text Him If You Want Him To Know How You Feel About Him
If you are interested in someone and want to let them know, it is okay to express your feelings via text message. However, it is important to be aware that the other person may not feel the same way and it is possible that they may not respond. If this is the case, it is important to respect their feelings and move on. It is better to be honest and open about your feelings rather than hiding them, even if it is difficult or uncomfortable. Remember that it is okay to be a strong, independent person who is not afraid to take risks and express themselves.