Narcissists and manipulation go hand in hand. They are exceptional at manipulating others to get them what they want. And the narcissist’s victim isn’t even aware this is taking place, as they have been completely blinded by the narcissist’s charming and flattering ways.
Bottom line, narcissists are the most self-serving and self-centered individuals you’ll come across. When they want something they will do whatever it takes to get it. Including manipulating anyone in their lives to get what they want to feed their egos.
Here are some common tactics used by narcissists to manipulate their partners.
1. Playing The Victim
No matter the situation, the narcissist always plays the victim and you will always be to blame. They have a special talent for turning things around onto the other person, even though they are at fault. They do it so well, you even end up apologizing to them! They always succeed in making themselves the victim.
2. Projecting and Deflecting
Exposure is something a narcissist avoids at all cost. In an attempt not to reveal their negative traits they will project them onto you. The image a narcissist has of themselves is always perfect, they don’t see themselves having any flaws. So any imperfections they have will be projected onto their victim.
3. Making You Feel Worthless
Disagreeing with a narcissist is a punishable offense! They will go out of their way to make sure you pay for disagreeing with them. They can criticize you to the point of shattering your self-esteem and making you feel worthless. Out of the blue everything they claimed to love about you is now suddenly major issues for them. This s their manipulative way of making you “win” back their affection.
4. Playing The Blame Game
Every time, without fail they find ways to place the blame for their mistakes on their partners. Anything that goes wrong in the relationship, no questions asked, it’s your fault and never theirs. Making you question and doubt yourself.
5. Aggression Can Be Part Of It
Nobody says “no” to a narcissist, if it means you prevent them from getting what they need. This can lead to them becoming aggressive towards you. Hearing the word “no” throws them off their balance, and the more you stand your ground, the angrier they can become.
6. Involving A Third Person
For a narcissist, winning an argument is a must, and they will do whatever it takes to make this happen. This can often mean they involve a third person into the mix, portraying you in a bad light to this person. They make sure they have others on their side, all against you, weakening your stance.
Having you feeling insecure and feeling inadequate is exactly where the narcissist wants you, this gives them more control over you. So they will reach any low to make sure you are feeling inadequate to be their partner, giving you the sense that you should be thankful they are with you. When you are in a place that your self-esteem has been shattered and you are feeling worthless, this is where they can manipulate you with more ease.
8. Controlling Everything
Narcissists like to be in control, and they aim to have complete control over you. They can go as far as creating a wedge between you and your family and friends if they feel they are a threat. They sometimes bat one against the other, slowly turning you away from your family, so you begin to only rely on them.
9. Catching You Off Guard
A narcissist need for control is so great they like to do things when you least expect it. By doing this, you are always kept on your toes. They become predictable in their unpredictability, making you always on alert to what might happen next.
To make sure they are never to blame, narcissists always try and make you the “crazy” one. And they will deny things ever happened to the point you question your sanity. Stay true to your reality and don’t let anyone try and convince you you have lost your mind.