We’ve all been there when we’ve assembled a group of friends around a table to analyse whatever new nonsense that a Male has sent us.
It’s truly one of life’s universal experiences to spend the better part of a morning decoding a seemingly emotionally distant text that supposedly conveys much more. The findings of these studies can result in the Male being ‘cancelled’, ‘trash’, or, if he’s lucky ‘the one’.
So much can be interpreted from one simple ‘hey’, from the presence of punctuation to a capitalised first letter. Everything means something, trust me. Depending on who you talk to, this can make or break a relationship.
While communication is key, it’s how things are said that really matters, rather than what appears to have been expressed.
To explain more, here’s 10 example texts that indicates that he’s into you.
It’s not exhaustive, but it’ll put the breaks on an investigative spiral to see when he was last active on WattsApp. No-one needs to do that to themselves.
Okay so that bar is on the floor. But that’s not to say that this (admittedly super generic) greeting isn’t a solid foundation to start with. While it may not particularly express anything unique or new, or specific to you, he has made the first move. The ball is in your court. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, it’s better than nothing and you can control the terms of the conversation starter.
2. ‘Good morning/good night’
Right so I’m working up towards sentiments that are actually properly meaningful. But, chronologically speaking, the natural evolution from ‘hey’ after a bit of conversation is ‘good morning’. You can expect these most mornings, but don’t stress about anticipating one every day. At its core, this means that he is thinking of you every time he wakes up, and even if you aren’t the first thing on his mind – it’s the act of remembering that matters too. If he knows you like them, he would do well to meet your needs.
3. ‘This reminded me of you’
Even if it’s a funny Facebook tag or an Instagram DM, this is important. You might remind him of puppies or something goofy like people falling over, but either way, if he looks at his social media and thinks of you, you’re golden. Plus, you get to see some excellent wholesome content; it’s a win-win.
4. He links you to a game he’s playing
While some hate this, I think it’s cute. If he’s playing Candy Crush when he’s bored or waiting for a train, it’s another level of intimacy and you guys can work together or play against each other. It’s fun and passes the time, and often prompts more genuine conversation anyway.
5. He invites you on a date and actually suggests something.
Gone are the days when ‘whatever you fancy’ is a suitable response or attempt to get a date in the works. Nowadays we need agency and a willingness to suggest something – even if it means you could get shot down. If we have to make all the effort, where’s the fun? Where’s the mystery? Jaunty suggestions include rock-climbing, paint balling or mini-golf. We need more than just ‘drinks at ‘Spoons’, guys. It’s 2019, for goodness sake.
6. He leaves ‘xx’ at the end of sentences.
I mean this one divides opinion. Some feel that it’s not always genuine, and granted, it can feel more like a gesture than something more genuine. However, if you establish it as something cute that you both do to each other, even if it is cringe, it does reflect another level of affection.
7. He suggests you meet his friends on a group date.
This one can be misleading, because while the ‘group’ aspect may feel like a step back in the intimacy scale, it’s not. For one, you have been offered the opportunity to meet his friends and know more about him in a different setting. For another, the more time that’s he is willing to prioritise with you, the better that bodes for your relationship.
8. ‘I’m at my parents’ this weekend, you’re welcome to come?’.
While the slightly distant phrasing of this might confuse matters, he has offered for you to meet the parents. This is big, make no mistake. He probably wants to play it cool, which is why he hasn’t outright asked if you want to come. He’s given you the opportunity to agree or excuse yourself, which is fine. Who doesn’t hate making the first move in such matters? You will make his day by saying yes, and it’s a great opportunity to get points with the parents. If my parents are anything to go by, you will also be fed to within an inch of your life in their effort to treasure their son’s partner.
9. He sends you a picture of his dog.
Yes, I did say ‘dog’, not the other one beginning with ‘D’. Keep your minds out of the gutter. That’s it. You’re in. If you’ve seen his beagle, Larry, there’s no greater expression of love that he can offer you. Except for…
10. ‘I love you’
Hopefully the first time he says it will be in person, but even if it’s accidental, or he says it after you, they all count. You’ve successfully infiltrated and been promoted to the big leagues of ’emotional availability’. This means that you can now effectively communicate without the pretence of disinterest, which is good news all round. Maybe hold off on making it Facebook official for a week or so (or indefinitely), but you can start doodling your name with his surname like we did in grade school. It’s fair game now.
Even if you haven’t racked all of these options up yet, don’t stress. There is plenty of time for relationships to evolve, and some will do so in a less standard order, or even not at all. Who knows.
Either way, rest assured the poor guys are probably more bamboozled by our responses than we are theirs. If that’s any consolation.