Published in Aug 2020 / Updated in Feb 2021
Gone are the days of endless sex and spending all day (and most nights) fantasizing about your partner. Now, you’d be lucky if you even got a kiss in by the end of the day. You don’t know when the change happened, and for some reason, it never bothered you. But, you suddenly realize that you’re having less sex as each day goes by.
Or maybe you just feel unhappy with your sex life and are worried you’re falling short. Either way, here are ten signs your relationship and sex life are not where it’s supposed to be;
1. You Have A Bunch Of Sexy Nightwear… You Haven’t Worn In Months
You know something’s wrong when every night, you’re pulling out sweats and a baggy T-shirt. We all want to feel comfortable in what we wear, but sometimes, it can be a major turnoff.
Looks are one of the determining factors in fueling sexual desire. So, next time, pull out some sexy lingerie you haven’t worn before. Or if you’re a guy, try to wear fewer clothes to bed. It could go a long way in helping the other person feel more sexual desire towards you.
2. You Haven’t Used Birth Control In A While… But You’re Not Worried
So, you haven’t used birth control in over a month. But there’s nothing to worry about. I mean, you can’t get pregnant if you’re not having sex.
This is a major warning sign. If you find that you’re no longer worried about things like birth control because you and your partner are suddenly having less sex, chances are, your sex life is in major decline. And you need to find something to top it up again before either you or your partner losses interest completely.
3. You’re Watching Porn More Often Than You Used To
Statistically speaking, people who aren’t in sexually active relationships are more likely to watch porn than in steady, sexual relationships. And some studies have shown that too much porn watching by those in a relationship can be a sign of ‘less-happy relationships.’ Therefore, if you find yourself suddenly watching way more porn than usual to feed your sex drive, you’ve hit one of the serious red flags.
4. You’re Lacking Late-Night Conversations
Say goodbye to midnight cuddling or watching romantic movies. You and your partner can barely hold a conversation in the bedroom.
This is extremely bad because not only is it a mirror or your sex life, it can also be damaging to the emotional part of your relationship. So, you need to step up your game and get your midnight sex drive rolling.
5. You Feel Awkward Whenever A Discussion About Condoms Or Sex Comes Up
Nothing spells awkward more than untimely condom adverts or those horrible sex jokes on TV. Did they have to go there? Now you and your partner can’t even look at each other in the eye.
At this point, you need to check your sex life because you’re about to hit rock bottom. And get rid of all that awkward energy. It’s bad for you.
6. You’re Getting Irritated Hearing About Other People’s Sex Life
You used to love hearing your friends gush about who they’re with and what they’re doing. Now every single mention of how sweet their girlfriend is, or how hot their boyfriend is, is driving you nuts. And you can’t help but feel angry, irritable, and slightly jealous. Like, can’t they shut up for a second?
7. You’re Not Caring For Your Body As Much As You Used To
You used to clean yourself up every day and shave at least once a week. Now all of a sudden, you’re looking un-kept and you haven’t shaved in weeks. If this sounds like you, chances are your sex life has been in rapid decline for a while now.
This could be why you no longer feel the need to take care of yourself, there’s no one to impress.
8. Your Spouse Has Been Sleeping On The Couch Way More Often
It might not even be your spouse. Maybe it’s you. Either way, one of you has been spending a lot of time outside the bedroom – maybe even avoiding the other person. This is a great display of a lack of interest in sex and any bedroom-related activity.
So next time your partner does this, find a way to drag them back to the room. Maybe wear some of that sexy lingerie you have sitting in the back of your closet.
9. You’re Not In The Mood For Sex Anymore
This may seem contradictory, but it’s true. This has sometimes been described as a circle effect; the less sex you have, the less you think about it. The less you think about it, the less you want sex. And the less you want it, the less sex you have.
A great solution to this would be to prioritize sex and relationships. Try to set out a time for it in your schedule. But don’t make it feel like one of your chores. Spend time having sex with your partner because you enjoy it, not because you have to.
10. You’re Suddenly Shy Around Them
If suddenly, you can’t even get naked in front of your significant other, something is wrong. Either you have low self-esteem – which probably isn’t the answer if you’re reading this article – or you’re just no longer comfortable around them. And this speaks for itself.
I’m not saying that without sex, you can’t have a normal, healthy relationship. Plenty of people do that just fine. But, if you’re used to having regular sex with your partner, and things suddenly change, there will be side effects of some sort.