10 Red Flags That You're A Placeholder Girlfriend - I Know From Experience

When embarking on a new relationship, you may hold onto the hope that it will last. Nonetheless, despite your optimism, your partner may not share the same outlook, and you could merely be a temporary option until someone more desirable appears. Based on my personal experience, I can attest to this, and I hope my mistakes can serve as a lesson for you.

1. He agrees with everything you say

In the early stages of our relationship, I had a great time with this guy. We shared almost everything in common and had a harmonious relationship. However, I later observed that whenever we held differing views, he would readily change his opinion to conform with mine. Initially, I considered this a positive trait, but eventually, I discovered that he was simply avoiding any disagreement and wasn't invested enough to express his thoughts or be himself with me.

2. He doesn't ask about your life

When we first began our relationship, I would share details about my life and believed my partner was a fantastic listener. Over time, I noticed that he only used generic responses like "Oh, that happened?" or "Really?" without asking me any additional questions, indicating a lack of genuine interest in our conversations. Although I initially attributed this to him wanting to take things slow, I now understand that he simply didn't care.

3. He doesn't share much about his own life

Whenever I inquired about his life, he would give brief answers and redirect the conversation back to me. Gradually, I came to the realization that I had very little knowledge about his true character. I only knew the basics like his age, occupation, and a few hobbies, but lacked insight into his personal life.

4. He never talks about the future

Whenever I brought up the idea of doing things together in the future, such as going on trips or attending events, he would always respond noncommittally with something like, "We'll see." Although I tried to discuss the potential long-term future of our relationship, including the kind of family we could have, those conversations were always one-sided.

5. He mostly hangs out with you for sex

Our post-work or weekend hangouts usually involved being at my place, where we'd have sex, cuddle, watch movies, and order takeout. Initially, this seemed romantic, but I eventually realized that he had no interest in doing much else. While I used to feel enamored when he said he missed me and wanted to stay in, I came to understand that was the only thing he wanted to do.

6. He doesn't do friend hangouts with you

Whenever I suggested hanging out with my friends or joining him with his, he always found some excuse to decline. He'd say that he wanted me to have fun with my friends without him or make up an excuse about having a guys' night. I now understand that this was his way of avoiding getting too invested in the relationship by keeping our friends separate.

7. He doesn't want to share the relationship online

Although I respected people who chose to keep their romantic life private, I didn't think much of it when my boyfriend said we shouldn't post pictures of ourselves online. However, I became upset when I discovered how open he was on social media. He had posted pictures of himself with his ex-girlfriends and even shared images of him and his friends when they were out. When I confronted him, he claimed that he was trying a new approach in his relationships to avoid drama. In other words, he didn't want any social media proof of our relationship because he didn't plan on keeping it going for very long.

8. You can't hang out with him anytime you want

Despite my attempts to visit him at his house or join him when he was out with friends, he always claimed it wasn't a good time. Unless we had planned something in advance, he avoided spontaneous hangouts at all costs.

9. It seems too good to be true

Initially, my ex seemed flawless. He listened attentively, volunteered to come over, agreed to do anything I suggested, and always complimented me. I was so enamored that I overlooked the numerous warning signs. Looking back, I realize that I was more invested in the relationship than he was, and that I was simply a temporary stand-in. Learn from my mistakes and don't make the same ones.